Paralyzed
by coolhan08
Summary: In an instant Finn's life changes forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This idea just popped into my head, probably because I happen to be practically paralyzed from the waist down myself. (Although I was born this way, it's not because of an accident.) Also I almost have another chapter done for the other story I'm working on, No Matter What, and should have the next chapter up in the next few days. **

Paralyzed from the waist down, Finn knows what that means: He'll never walk again. He'll be stuck in a damn wheelchair for the rest of his life.

The second the doctor leaves the room, Finn breaks down crying.

"Sweetheart, it's going to be okay," Carole says trying to comfort her son.

"Yeah, Finn we're here for you," Burt says.

"You guys can stop lying to me because I know everything's not going to be okay," Finn exclaims. "You heard the doctor, I'm a freaking cripple! I'll never play football again, hell I'll never even walk again so I'll be stuck in a damn wheelchair the rest of my life! I don't even know when I have to take a piss so I'm stuck wearing a freaking diaper like some baby!"

"Finn, I know its hard sweetie, but just calm down, okay?" Carole says trying to cry.

"No, stop telling me to calm down! You guys don't have any idea what the hell I'm going through!"

"I'm sorry, I just…I need a few minutes…" Carole says as she walks out of the room before Finn sees her cry.

"Go ahead and go make sure my Mom's okay and just leave me here all alone," Finn says to Burt bitterly.

"If she's not back in a few minutes I'll go find her, but I want to talk to you first," Burt says.

"Oh great," Finn says sarcastically.

"Finn, look I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through, because like you said I don't," Burt says. "But lashing out your anger on your mom isn't helping anything."

"It's just not fair. Four days ago I was the quarterback of the football team and then I'm driving home from the game Friday night and some drunk guy hits my car head on and my life changes forever. I'm now paralyzed from the waist down and that guy walks away fine! How the hell is that even fair?"

"It's not fair, Finn, but life isn't always fair."

"I'm never going to be normal again."

"Yeah, you will, it will just be a different kind of normal. I mean look at your friend, Artie, isn't he paralyzed from the waist down too?"

"Yeah," Finn says cringing at the thought of being stuck in a wheelchair just like Artie.

"And he gets around fine, right? And you consider him to be normal?"

"Well, yeah. He needs help like carrying his lunch tray and stuff and we have to carry his wheelchair up and down the steps whenever we're somewhere that doesn't have an elevator, but other than that he can pretty much get around okay."

"And I'm sure that's what it will be like for you eventually. You need to realize though that it may take awhile until you get to that point."

"I know it's just I feel so helpless. It's so embarrassing, I'm 16 years old and a nurse has to come in to change my diapers. This morning a nurse not only had to help me get from my bed into my wheelchair but also from my wheelchair to the shower and back. What was even more embarrassing was that she was kind of hot and I didn't realize I had a boner until after she had helped me transfer from my wheelchair to the shower chair 'cause I don't have feeling down there."

"Finn, she's a nurse I'm sure she's seen guys have that reaction before," Burt says trying not to laugh because he could tell Finn had been really embarrassed by what had happened. "Besides, you'll learn how to transfer yourself from your bed to your wheelchair and how to get in and out of the shower and how to take care of any of your other personal needs."

"I hope so, because I hate feeling like such a baby."

"I know you do," Burt says. "Hey, well I'm going to go make sure your mom's okay and then I'm going to head home for a few hours to check on Kurt. When I get back though your mom and I are going to meet with your doctor about what we can do to help you become as independent as possible."

"Okay," Finn says.

"Hang in there, it's going to take some time but I have no doubt that you will adjust. Just remember that just because you might have to do some things differently doesn't make you any less of a person.

"Thanks," Finn says.

"No problem, like I said I'll go find your mom and then I'll be back in a few hours," Burt says as he walks out the door of Finn's hospital room.

Finn wouldn't admit it out loud but as he's laying in his hospital bed he realizes that talking to Burt actually made him feel a little better, but if this morning's awkward shower situation was any indication of the long road ahead of him learning to become independent, he knows it's probably not going to get any easier (or less embarrassing) any time soon.


	2. I Know, I've Been There

**Author's note: This takes place during season 2 post "Never Been Kissed." Finn and Rachel broke up a couple of weeks before, but are still good friends. Quinn and Sam have also decided to be just friends. Finn and Quinn aren't back together but it seems to be heading in that direction.**

"Mom," Finn says, a few hours later when he wakes up and sees his Mom sitting in a chair beside his bed reading a book.

"Hey, sweetheart," Carole says sitting her book down on the little table beside Finn's bed. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Finn says still not quite completely awake. "How long was I asleep?"

"Well, you were asleep when I came back in the room right after Burt left almost two hours ago."

"Sorry," Finn says.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry for sleeping so long. I'm sure it's probably pretty boring just sitting there watching me sleep."

"Finn, you don't have to apologize for that. We both know it's the pain medicine that's making you so tired."

"I know, but it really sucks. I mean, since I woke up and became alert yesterday morning, I feel like all I do is eat and sleep. _And am constantly being poked and prodded by doctors and nurses asking me "can you feel that?" or being woken up by nurses, even in the middle of the night, so they can take my temperature, check my blood pressure, change my diaper, and help me roll from one side to the other every so often so I don't get bed sores,_ Finn silently thinks to himself.

"Finn, that was two days ago. Your accident was Friday night and you gained consciousness early Saturday morning, it's now almost 4:00 Monday afternoon."

"My point exactly." _Gosh, I'm so out of it I can't even keep track of what day it is._

"Yeah, but the good news is since they took your IV line out this morning and you're now on Tylenol with codeine instead of morphine you'll start feeling more alert; it isn't as powerful of a drug as morphine so you won't feel quite as drowsy."

"Then why did I just wake up from a two hour nap?"

"Because Tylenol with codeine is still a strong pain killer."

"Oh," Finn says, not knowing what else to say. The two sit in silence for several minutes, which just makes Finn feel even more awkward. "Mom," Finn says, finally breaking the awkward silence. "I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

"It's okay, that was a lot to have take in," Carole says.

"I made you cry though," Finn says as he remembers seeing his Mom walk out of his room hoping he wouldn't see her cry.

"Sweetheart, in some ways you getting angry about everything is a good thing because it means you're starting to realize and accept that this is really happening; that you're starting to accept that you're paralyzed. Hearing you say that you'll probably never walk again forced me to have accept that too, and that was really hard for me to have hear," Carole says as a few tears fall from her eyes.

"This whole thing just really sucks," Finn says.

"I know, but it's going to be okay. I know it won't be long before you're rolling around in your wheelchair having no problem keeping up with the rest of your friends."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Carole says trying to reassure him.

There's then a knock on the door. "Is somebody up for a visitor?" Burt asks as he walks into the room.

"I think so," Carole says, answering for Finn, which he knows means something's up.

"Yeah, it's fine," Finn says. Burt opens the rest of the way and Artie wheels himself into Finn's room.

"Look who I ran into," Burt says.

"Hey Finn," Artie says.

"Hey," Finn says with absolutely no enthusiasm. It's not that he doesn't like Artie, because he does consider him to be a great friend, it's just he knows that this whole visit was either his Mom or Burt's idea.

"Hey, Carole, why don't we go for a walk and get some coffee and let these guys catch up," Burt's says. _Oh my gosh, could he be any more obvious?_

"Sounds great," Carole says as she gets up from her chair. "Finn, we'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

"Okay," he answers as his Mom and Burt walk out the door. "So who put you up to this, my Mom or Burt?" Finn asks right away.

"Finn, what are you talking about?" Artie asks.

"Come on, I know Burt didn't just run into you."

"Fine, he called my Dad while I was at school and my Dad texted me and asked if I would mind dropping by to see you after Glee," Artie admits.

"So what, they wanted you to come and try to cheer me up?"

"You can think that of it that way if you want," Artie says. "But honestly, I was hoping to be able to come and visit you soon. I heard Puck, Mike and Sam came to see you last night, so I figure it's about time for me to visit you too, right?"

"Yeah," Finn says, realizing he should probably be grateful that Artie's here to see him. Besides, so far Artie has been treating him a lot more normal than the guys had last night. Last night with the guys had just been…awkward because it was obvious that they really didn't know how to act around him. "This whole thing just really sucks," Finn says feeling like he can be completely honest with Artie. "Just a few days I go was running around, throwing touchdown passes, now I can't even pick up my feet or wiggle my toes."

"I know, believe me, I've been there," Artie says.

"I know. It's just when is it going feel to normal? How long will it take for me to get used to living like this?"

"It'll take some time, but once you learn how to get yourself in and out of your wheelchair, how to get dressed and sort of establish a routine it gets a lot easier. But I'm going to be honest with you, Finn, there are still times when it's hard, when I feel left out and all alone because I'm in a wheelchair."

"Like when?"

"Like when you first tried to get me on the football team and Coach Beiste wouldn't let me. Or anytime in Glee when you guys have to choreograph a number around me or I have to alter the dance moves for myself since I'm in my wheelchair."

"Yeah, well, you won't be the only the one in a wheelchair in Glee anymore. Besides, I've always been horrible at dancing, so who knows maybe now since I'll be in my wheelchair my dancing will actually look better," Finn says laughing. He realizes this is the first time he's laughed since the accident and it feels really good to be able to joke about something.

"Very true," Artie laughs.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Finn says, getting serious again.

"Uh, sure," Artie says hesitantly.

"Do you have to wear diapers? 'Cause right now, I do," Finn says looking down at the floor because he's so embarrassed to be admitting this.

"Only at night, during the day I self-catheterize about every three and a half hours."

"So, during the day you can wear regular boxers?"

"Yeah, but usually I wear a small pad in them so if I end up having to cath a little late I don't have to worry about wetting my pants."

"Do you think I'll have to do this cath thing too?"

"I don't know it all depends on the full extent of your injuries."

"I'm past the point where there's much hope of me gaining anything else back."

"Then, yeah, you probably will. What not the answer you wanted to hear?" Arties asks seeing the disappointed look on Finn's face.

"Not really." He has several other questions he wants to ask Artie. The biggest question he has though is if he can have sex. He doesn't even want to think about the possibility of never having sex again considering the only time he did was the night he lost his virginity to Santana; a decision he had instantly regretted. He decides not to ask these questions right now though, because he doesn't know if he really wants to know the answers.

"Finn, it's not like you have to tell anyone. I mean, you didn't know that I have to cath."

"I know, it's just I feel so helpless; I feel like I can't do anything anymore."

"That's not true. You can do most of the things you could do before, you just might have to do some things a little differently. The key is to focus on all the things you can still do."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you still have complete use of your arms. I mean, you can still feed yourself and everything."

"Yeah, tru-" Finn starts to say but is cut off by a knock on the door.

"Hey, guys sorry to cut this visit short, but Artie's dad's here to pick him up," Burt says as he stands in the doorway of the room.

"Hey, thanks for coming, man," Finn says. "You keep those Titans in line for me, all right?"

"No problem." Artie says as he wheels himself out the door.

"Finn , your mom and I will be back in a few minutes, okay?" Burt says as he walks out the door, leaving Finn to wonder why he left so quickly.

Almost immediately Finn gets his answer as Amy, the cute blond nurse walks into his room along with the blood pressure machine and closes the door behind her. _Of course it has to be the hot nurse that caused me to…react this morning,_ Finn thinks, hoping he doesn't embarrass himself again.

"Okay, Finn, you know the drill," Amy says as he opens his mouth for her to put the thermometer in under his tongue. She then proceeds to check his blood pressure while she waits for the thermometer to go off. Like always she's done checking his blood pressure just as the thermometer goes off. "Okay, everything looks good," Amy says.

"Why do you have to take my temperature if I was never even sick in the first place?"

"It's just procedure," she says as she grabs a pair of latex gloves, a fresh diaper, and blue pad from the table by his bed. "Okay, you remember how we did this morning?"

"Yeah," he answers.

"I'm going to need you to move your arms and the rest of your upper body towards the center of the bed so you're lying flat on your back and I'll move your legs for you."

"Okay."

"One, two, three," they both say and on three he tries to roll over as much he can to the center of the bed while she picks up his legs for him.

"All right," she says, now that he's lying in the center of the bed. "I'm going to lift your legs up and if you can hold them up with your hands while I change you here quick that would be great because that seemed to work well this morning," Amy says she gently picks up his legs and guides them up towards his chest until he takes a hold of them while she puts the blue pad down underneath which he knows is for in case if he ends up peeing during the few seconds he doesn't have a diaper on he won't wet the bed. He realizes she didn't emphasize the fact that what she's changing his wet and possibly dirty diaper, which somehow seems to make it a little less embarrassing.

Then again as he lies there holding his legs he wonders if there could be anything more embarrassing than this: He's lying flat on his back literally naked from the waist down while a cute nurse changes his diaper. No, he's pretty sure this is about as bad as it gets.

"Okay," Amy says after she's done changing him and throws his wet diaper away. "Now I just need you to roll over the rest of the way onto your right side, okay? You, ready?"

"Yeah."

"One-two-three," they both say as Finn rolls over as much as he can while Amy once again picks up his legs for him.

"Okay, are you comfortable for now?"

"Yeah," Finn answers

"Okay," Amy says as she takes the blood pressure machine with her as she walks out the door.

Almost immediately his Mom and Burt walk back into his room.

"Hey, did you have nice time with Artie?" Carole asks.

"Yeah, even though Burt set up the whole thing," Finn says laughing.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Burt says trying to deny he had anything to do with Artie visiting.

"Yeah, right," Finn says. "Thanks, though"

"No problem," Burt says.

Finn turns on the TV and flips through several channels, after a few minutes though he realizes there's nothing really on so he might as well lay down and close his eyes for a few minutes since there's nothing really else for him to do. "I think I'm going to close my eyes for a few minutes."

"Okay, sweetheart," Carole says.

"We'll be here when you get up," Burt adds.

And he knows they will be, because they've been with him the entire time since this whole hellish ordeal started.


	3. Welcome to Rehab

"Finn, can you turn off the TV? Burt and I want to talk to you before we have to leave," Carole says. Finn knows this must mean it's getting close to eight, which is when visiting hours end. Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone but right after they had to leave last night he cried himself to sleep because being in a hospital room alone at night is lonely… and kind of scary. Needless to say, he isn't looking forward to spending another night all alone in his hospital room.

"Yeah," Finn says, as he turns off the TV.

"Finn, while Artie was here, Burt and I met with Dr. Siegel."

"Oh, so that's why he was here, so he could distract me while you talked to my doctor. You know it's my body, my life, don't I get to have a say in anything that happens here?" Finn exclaims.

"Finn, Artie was not here to 'distract you,' it just happened to be a convenient time for Dr. Siegel to meet with us," Burt says trying to defend himself and Carole.

"Yeah, whatever," Finn says not believing him.

"Anyway," Carole says, "tomorrow Dr. Siegel would like you to start rehab."

"Rehab?" Finn asks. "Mom, I'm not Lindsey Lohan, it's not like I have a drug or alcohol problem."

"Not that kind of rehab, this kind of rehab will help you become independent. You'll learn how to transfer yourself from your bed to your wheelchair; they're also going to measure you and get you fitted for your own wheelchair tomorrow; learn how to transfer from your wheelchair to the shower, how to get yourself dressed-"

"Mom, I'm 16 years old, I think I know how to get myself dressed."

"Finn, don't take this the wrong way, but I'd like to see you try to put on a pair of jeans right now since you can't even pick up your legs."

Finn tries to pick up his right leg because he just wants to prove everyone wrong; but he fails to even lift it off the bed.

"Finn, they also want you to start physical therapy," Carole says.

"So does that mean they think there's a chance that I'll be able to walk again?"

"Sweetheart, there's always a chance; miracles do happen. But I don't want you to get your hopes up. If you are eventually able to walk again it will probably only be with a walker or crutches."

"Well, I'm going to prove everyone wrong and walk out of here on my own," Finn says stubbornly.

"I would like nothing more than for you to do just that, but you also need to be realistic," Carole says.

"I don't want to be realistic! No one ever asked me if I wanted this to happen! It's not fair, I never wanted this! It 's not even my fault; it's some stupid drunk guy's, why couldn't he have been the one who ended up paralyzed instead of me?" Finn exclaims. He knows he's acting like a little kid, but he honestly could care less right now.

"Finn, believe me, I wish this wouldn't have happened either and you have no idea how hard it is for me to see you like this," Carole says once again fighting back tears. "But we have to face reality and by going through rehab you'll learn how to be as independent as possible."

"Finn, there are a few other things you're going to have to learn how to do, but, Carole, why don't you wait for me outside and I'll talk to him about- well, you know" Burt says, knowing how embarrassed Finn had been about this morning's "shower incident" he knows this is bound to be a sensitive subject with him.

"Okay," Carole says. "Sweetheart, I know this is hard, but the goal really is for you to learn how to be as independent as possible. Have a good night and I'll see you in the morning. You know I love you, right? " she says as she kisses his forehead.

"Yeah, I love you too, Mom."

"'Night," Carole says as she walks out of the room.

"So what is it you need to talk to me about?" Finn asks.

"Finn, tomorrow morning you're also going to learn how to take care of your personal bathroom needs, which means they'll teach you how to self-catheterize yourself, get you started on a bowel program which involves giving yourself an enema, and teach you how to change your own diapers. The thing is though Dr. Siegel would like either your mom or I in here when the nurse teaches you how to self-catheterize and how to give yourself an enema that way one of us knows how to do them in case you can't do those things by yourself right away."

"There's no way I'm doing any of that shit!" Finn exclaims.

"Finn, look, it's not like you have much of a choice. It's either that or you depend on your mom and I to change your diapers for the rest of your life and I know none of us want that."  
"Gosh, is there no such thing as privacy here?" Finn says, knowing that Burt's right and he really doesn't have much of a choice. So far, at least what he can remember, his Mom and Burt were about the only people who were giving him any sort of privacy by always leaving the room anytime a nurse had to change his diaper, but now he would be losing even that.

"Finn, I know you're not thrilled about this, but remember this is all so you can learn how to be independent, so you can regain some privacy. This way you'll eventually be able to take care of your own bathroom needs instead of always having to depend on someone to change your diapers and once you get into your routine you might only have to wear a diaper at night."

"Burt, do you have any idea what it's like to have a nurse change your diaper? Obviously my junk is hanging out for everyone to see anytime they change me! It's humiliating! And now you're telling me that you and my Mom have to stand here and watch me pee!"

"Finn, look I've told you I can't even begin to try to relate what you're going through, your Mom and I have been trying to give you as much as privacy as we can and I can understand how this embarrasses you, but like I said you don't really have much of a choice. Anyway, your Mom and I talked about this and we've decided that we're going to let you choose who you want back here with you when you learn how to self-catheterize and how to give yourself an enema."

"You, definitely, you," Finn says relieved that he does not have to worry about his Mom seeing him naked.

"That's what we thought you would say," Burt says. "Look, it's a minute or two after eight so I need to get going before a nurse kicks me out, but I will be here first thing in the morning."

"Okay," Finn says reluctantly, not wanting Burt to have to leave.

"Hey, look, if all goes well, you'll be able to do everything yourself by this time tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah," Finn says sarcastically.

"Finn, you know, your Mom and I are proud of how well you are handling all of this."

"Thanks," Finn says.

"Hey, well, I'll see you in the morning, bright and early," Burt says as he leans over to give Finn a hug.

"See you," Finn says as Burt walks out of his room.

GLEEE

Early the next morning Finn is woken up by a nurse, who according to her nametag is named Megan, although he thinks that she looks an awful lot like his ex-girlfriend, Rachel. _Great not only do I got woken up at the crack of dawn, but the first person I see this morning looks like my cheating ex-girlfriend._

"Sorry, we're getting you up a little earlier than usual," Megan says as she places the thermometer in Finn's mouth and then proceeds to place the blood pressure cuff on Finn's right arm. "But Dr. Siegel wants us to go ahead and move you down to the 3rd floor so you can get started with rehab." _Wait, so I'm changing rooms? How come I didn't know this? Do my Mom and Burt know about this?_ Finn thinks to himself while he impatiently waits for the thermometer to go off so he is able to voice his opinion about of all this.

"Wait, so I'm changing rooms? Uh, like right now?" Finn asks Megan as he takes the thermometer out of his mouth. He eyes the hospital issued wheelchair parked beside his bed. He's only been out of his bed once the whole time he's been here and that was when he was able to go and take a shower yesterday, but the whole process of transferring from his bed to the wheelchair and from the wheelchair to the shower chair and back had not exactly been easy and had even made him feel a little lightheaded at first.

"Yep, I just need to see if your diaper needs changed, help you roll over onto your left side, and finish updating your chart and then we'll head on down to your new room on the third floor," Megan says.

"Um, just to let you know it took like forever for the nurse to help me transfer from the bed to the wheelchair yesterday," Finn says.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that; these beds are on wheels, so even though you'll be in a different room, you'll still be in the same bed."

"Oh," Finn says. "My Mom and stepdad know about this, right? About me switching rooms?"he asks trying to hide the uneasiness in his voice.

"Yeah, Dr. Siegel already called them and asked if it was okay if we have you go ahead and switch rooms and they were fine with it. In fact, by the time you get settled into your new room, your stepdad should be here," Megan says trying to reassure him as she pulls back the blankets on his bed and he pulls his hospital gown up a little bit so she can check his diaper.

As she pulls back the blankets on his bed he thinks _Shit, I just I'll know embarrass myself when she changes my diaper. She looks like Rachel, there's no way I'll be able to control myself-_

Megan interrupts Finn's thoughts saying, "I'm actually not going to change your diaper right now because it doesn't look like it's really that wet and within the next hour or so they'll teach you how to self-catheterize yourself and change your own diaper, and you should be fine until then, so the only thing left-"

"Wait," Finn interrupts. "Are you going to be the one who teaches me how to cath and change my diapers?" he asks hoping she isn't. He knows that having her teach him how to self-catheterize and how to change his diapers would be even worse than just having her change his diaper.

"No," Megan says. "I'm assigned here on the pediatric floor, so as soon you get settled into your new room you'll have a different nurse. I'm not sure who your new nurse will be, but whoever it is will be the one that teaches you those things."

"Okay, good. I mean, it's nothing against you personally," Finn says, realizing what he's just said. "It's just you kind of look like my ex-girlfriend."

"Its fine, I understand," Megan says feeling bad for having embarrassed him. "I just need you to roll over from your back onto your left side and then I can take you down to your new room. Do you need me to help you move your legs?"

"Yeah," Finn answers reluctantly, hating to admit just how helpless he really is.

"Okay, you ready?" Megan asks him.

"Yeah."

"Okay, one, two, three," they both say and on "three" Finn rolls over as much as he can while Megan moves his legs for him.

While Finn is lying in his bed in the elevator on his way to his new room, he can only hope that the day won't turn out to be as embarrassing as he's expecting it to be.

GLEEGLEE

Thirty-five minutes later, while Finn is eating his breakfast of pancakes and sausage, Burt walks into Finn's new hospital room.

"Hey Finn, how are you doing?" Burt asks.

"Okay, I guess," Finn says with his mouth full. "Why didn't you guys tell me I was changing rooms?"

"Because your mom and I didn't even know you were until we got a phone call at 5:30 this morning."

"Oh," Finn says. "What time is it now?"

"7:15."

"Damn, they get you up early here."

"Yeah, they do," Burt says laughing.

"What's in that bag you're holding?" Finn asks pointing to the plastic bag in Burt's hand.

"Clothes," Burt says as he takes a pair of jeans and a blue and white striped shirt out of the bag. "Dr. Siegel wanted us to bring in some of your clothes from home because they're going teach you how to get yourself dressed today."

"Great," Finn says sarcastically.

"Hey, at least it means you'll get out of that hospital gown," Burt says.

"True, at least I won't feel like I'm wearing a dress anymore," Finn laughs.

"Yeah, your own clothes will probably feel a lot more comfortable too," Burt says. "I have something else for you too that I think you'll like even more," he says handing Finn his cell phone. "They found it on the floor of your car. Not only does it still work, but I even charged it for you."

"Thanks," Finn says as he immediately turns on his phone to see all his new text messages and missed calls. Not surprisingly he had a couple of missed calls and several new text messages, but there are three text messages that really catch his attention:

**From**: **Rachel Berry**

**To: Finn Hudson**

**Finn, I'm sorry about your accident. I'm sorry about everything actually. I just wanted to let you know I'm here for you if you need me.**

Finn replies saying:

**From: Finn Hudson**

**To: Rachel Berry**

**Thanks for your concern, but my accident doesn't change anything between us. We're over, Rachel.**

The next text message that catches his attention is from Sean:

**From: Sean Fretthold**

**To: Finn Hudson**

**Hey, I heard about your accident. Just wanted to let you know I'm here for you, just like you were there for me when I had mine. Seriously, dude, if you need someone to talk to call or text me, I obviously can relate to what you're going through. **

As he reads Sean's text he realizes he really shouldn't be complaining like he has been and he should be grateful for just being alive. Sean had lost so much more than he had. Sean can barely lift his hands by himself, where as he still has complete use of his arms. _I guess I'm not the worst case scenario and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself._

Finn texts Sean back saying:

**From: Finn Hudson**

**To: Sean Fretthold**

**Dude, thanks. Once I get out of the hospital we definitely should hang out. I'm sure you can teach me a few things or least give me a well needed attitude adjustment! Lol. **

Finally, the last text message he reads says:

**From: Quinn Fabray**

**To: Finn Hudson**

**Finn, I heard about your accident and just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts & prayers. I was going to come visit you last night, but I wasn't quite sure if you were up for visitors yet. Glee Club wasn't the same without you today, everyone misses you; especially me. We all hope you're back here soon!**

Quinn's text message brings a smile to his face. About two weeks ago, shortly after he broke up with Rachel, he and Quinn started hanging out again, but he still hadn't had the courage to ask her out again yet. One for thing's for sure, the next time he sees Quinn he's asking her out.

**From: Finn Hudson**

**To: Quinn Fabray**

**Thanks Quinn that really means a lot to me. As for visitors, feel free to stop by anytime, it's pretty boring here so it would be great to have someone to talk to besides my Mom, Burt, & Kurt. Although Artie did stop in yesterday for a little bit & a bunch of the guys came by the other night but it was really awkward because they didn't know how to act around me. I miss Glee, but I miss you even more. I can't believe I'm actually saying this but hopefully I'll be back at school soon. **

"What are you smiling at?" Burt asks seeing a huge smile suddenly appear on Finn's face.

"Nothin'" Finn says still smiling though.

"Who's it from?" Burt says knowing it's probably a text from a girl.

"Quinn. She says she misses me."

"So are you guys back together?" Burt asks.

"Not officially, but as soon as I get a chance I'm going to ask her out."

Just then there's a knock at the door and Dr. Siegel walks in to Finn's room.

"How are we doing this morning?" Dr. Siegel asks.

"Okay, I guess," Finn answers.

"Good," Dr. Siegel says. "Have you noticed any more sensation in your legs?"

"No, I still can't feel anything below my waist," Finn says hating to admit this.

"Yeah, since it's been over 72 hours it's highly unlikely that you'll gain any more sensation back. I still want to do another MRI in the next day or two though to get a better look at the full extent of the damage done to your spinal cord now that the swelling has probably gone down."

"I had a MRI?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, it was one of the first things they did when you got here," Burt says.

"It's actually a good thing you weren't conscious for the first several hours," Dr. Siegel says trying to reassure Finn, "it's the brain's way of protecting itself. "

"Oh," Finn says.

"I'm going to have the nurse come in here in a few minutes to teach you how to self-catheterize yourself and change your own diapers. The other goal for you today is to be able to get yourself dressed. At some point today too, we'll make sure to get you measured and fitted for your own wheelchair that way you can start getting used to it. Like I said I want to get you in for another MRI but since it's technically a non-emergency situation now they probably won't be able to fit you in until at least tomorrow. The plan is also for you to start physical therapy tomorrow…"

"Whoa, wait a minute," Finn interrupts Dr. Siegel. "Isn't this all kind of going a little fast? My accident was what like four days ago? I mean, shouldn't I sort of slowly learn this whole new routine? You said there's little chance of me gaining anything else back, so why the hurry all of a sudden?"

"Finn, it's important for your body to be as active as it physically can because if you don't do something for so long, you'll eventually lose the physical ability to do it altogether," Dr. Siegel says.

"And Finn, don't you want to be able to get home and back to school so you get back to Glee and hanging out with the guys?" Burt asks him.

"Well, yeah."

"Will in order to be able to all of those things you need to learn how to be as independent as possible and how to take care of yourself first," Burt says. "The sooner you start learning this whole new routine, the sooner you get to go home."

"Okay," Finn says even though he's still kind of unsure about all of this.

"Anyway, I'll have the nurse come in here in a few minutes so you can get started," Dr. Siegel says.

"Thanks," Burt says to Dr. Siegel as he walks of Finn's room.

As Finn sits in his bed, he begins to realize that he's about to go from being bored to being exhausted from trying to learn how to become independent again and he's not really sure if he wants to know what this whole "new routine" entails.

**Please, please, review; I haven't gotten any reviews yet; and maybe that's just because this story is hard for people to relate to or maybe it's not that interesting, but if I still don't get any reviews after this chapter I'll probably not continue writing it. **


	4. The Choice is Up to You

A few minutes later there's a knock on Finn's door and a nurse walks in carrying a catheter and a bedpan.

"Let the humiliation begin," Finn says under his breath.

"Finn," Burt says in a warning tone, which lets Finn know he's heard what he just said.

"So are you ready to get started?" the nurse asks in a way too cheerful tone. The nurse, Sharon, a woman probably in her early forties, grabs a box of baby wipes, a pair of latex gloves, a blue pad, and a fresh diaper from the drawer by his bed.

"You must be Dad," Sharon says to Burt.

"Actually, he's my stepfather," Finn says, knowing that Burt won't be offended by him correcting his nurse. Burt had told him shortly after he started dating his Mom that he would never try to replace his Dad and Finn was grateful for that.

"Oh, sorry," Sharon says.

"It's okay," Finn says.

"Like Finn said, I'm his stepfather, Burt Hummel," Burt says.

"Okay," Sharon says. "Before we get started first let me just explain how we're going to this. Learning how to self-catheterize yourself isn't exactly the easiest thing to learn how to do; so we're going to do this in a couple of different stages. Finn, this time I'm going to have you watch and I'm going to teach your stepdad how to catheterize you here on your bed and make sure he can cath you himself. It's important though for you to pay attention to what's going on, so that when you have to cath again in about three or four hours you'll know to do it. It's also easier to self-catherize yourself sitting on the toilet than lying down in a bed, so we're going to have you try it sitting on the toilet the next time you need to cath. That's also when you're going to learn how to change your own diapers, because that's probably going to be the easiest way for you to do it."

"Okay," Finn says not knowing what else to say.

"Why don't you go ahead and lie down," Sharon says as Finn pushes the button on his remote to lay his bed back down. "I need to take your diaper off here first," she says as she pulls back Finn's blanket while he pulls up his gown a little bit. She then helps him lift his legs up, places a blue pad underneath him and then takes off his wet diaper.

Burt stands back, scarcely believing he's watching his stepson getting his diaper changed; only days before he'd watched Finn throw a game winning touchdown. He'd married Carole less than two months ago and had watched Finn dance with his mom at the wedding; now he's paralyzed and doesn't even know when he has to go to the bathroom.

After throwing away Finn's wet diaper and having him wipe himself off with a baby wipe, Sharon proceeds in explaining to Burt how to catheterize Finn. Although, Finn knows he should be paying to attention to Sharon's detailed explanation of the whole process, he really doesn't like hearing about how he'll have to insert a catheter into his bladder through his penis every three to four hours so he can pee, so for the most part he just tunes Sharon out and tries not think about how he is naked from the waist down in front of not just a nurse, but also his stepfather.

Next, Sharon then shows them how and where to insert to the catheter and then has Burt wash his hands and hands him a pair of latex gloves and has him catheterize Finn. The fact that he can't feel the catheter being inserted through his penis and into his bladder and that the only reason he knows he's emptying his bladder is because he hears himself peeing into the bedpan, is surprisingly just as embarrassing as Burt cathing him. As Finn lies there on his bed while Burt caths him, he thinks that it seriously can't get any worse this; but since it's not even 8am yet he has a feeling that this is only the beginning of a really awkward, embarrassing day.

GLEEGLEE

After Burt finishes cathing Finn and puts a fresh diaper on him, Sharon leaves his room, telling him that he can rest for a little while but in about an hour she would be back to help him get dressed and then he would be measured and fitted for his own wheelchair.

"Do you want to rest?" Burt asks Finn after Sharon leaves his room.

"No, I'm okay. Besides, I didn't really have to do anything except lay there and pee," he laughs.

"True, but you have a busy day ahead of you," Burt says. There are several minutes of uncomfortable silence because neither of them know what to say.

"I'm sure when you married my Mom you didn't expect to be doing this a month later," Finn says breaking the silence.

"No, I didn't," Burt says. "But we're a family; which means we're always there for each other no matter what. Just like you, your mom and Kurt were there for me when I had my heart attack a couple of months ago, we're here for you now."

"Yeah, the only difference is, you made a full recovery; I won't," Finn says bitterly.

"Finn," Burt says in a "don't even go there" tone.

"I know it's just so frustrating…and embarrassing."

"I know, but after today, you'll hopefully be a lot more independent; which will make things easier for you...and definitely less embarrassing."

Just then Finn's phone vibrates and he sees that not only did he just get a text message but he also must've gotten one while he was being cathed.

The first one he reads is from Sean:

**From: Sean Fretthold**

**To: Finn Hudson**

"**Yeah, we definitely should hang out after you get out of the hospital. I could probably even get my Mom to let me come visit you in the hospital too. Just remember "attitude is everything" and that if have you have a positive attitude it will be a hell of a lot easier. Remember, that's what you said to me after my accident? Anyway, I'll try to get my Mom to let me stop by and see you soon.**

"I guess I need to take some of my own advice," Finn says out loud after reading Sean's text.

"What?" Burt asks.

"Sean texted me and said that after his accident I told him 'attitude is everything," and that having a positive attitude will make everything a lot easier. I have to say that it's a lot easier to tell people to have a positive attitude when you're not the one that's paralyzed."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's true. But I agree with Sean, it will be a heck of a lot easier if you approach all of this with a positive attitude."  
"Yeah, I know, I'm trying to…it's just easier said than done," Finn says.

Finn then texts Sean back:

**From: Finn Hudson**

**To: Sean Fretthold**

**I guess I need to take some of my own advice, lol. That'd be awesome if you're able to stop by and visit. It's pretty boring just sitting around in the hospital. Just text me to let me know whenever you're able to stop by. **

The second text message is from Quinn:

**From: Quinn Fabray**

**To: Finn Hudson**

**Okay, well I'll probably stop by with some people after Glee today then. Even if it's just me; I'll definitely stop by. I mean, if that's okay with you.**

Finn quickly texts Quinn back saying:

**Of course it's ok. I can't wait to see you either!**

"Quinn says that she and probably some of the others from Glee are going to stop by after rehearsal this afternoon," Finn says smiling.  
"Yeah, Kurt said that he and Blaine are probably going to stop by after Warblers' practice too," Burt says.

"Sweet, at least I know I won't be bored this afternoon," Finn says grateful that his friends were planning on visiting him.

"I don't think you'll be bored anytime soon; I have a feeling that it's not going to be as easy as you think to learn how to be independent."

"Yeah, you're probably right, but I really don't want to think about that right now. Do you know when my Mom's planning on getting here?" Finn asks changing the subject.

"Some time this afternoon. She went into work for a few hours this morning," Burt says.

"Okay," Finn says as he turns on the TV, an attempt to try not to think about what the rest of his day entails.

GLEEGLEE

"Burt, can't you just please help me put them on," Finn says frustrated as he's lying on his bed trying to put on a pair of jeans. Although he had no problem putting on his shirt, putting on a pair of jeans seems to be an impossible task for him.

"Finn, the whole purpose of rehab is for you to learn how to become independent," Burt says.

"Come on, please! The nurse stepped out of the room for a few minutes, so she won't even know."

"Finn, no; you need to learn how to get yourself dressed. Besides, you don't want to have to depend on your mom or I to help you get dressed everyday."

"At this point, I don't care."

"What happened to wanting to prove everyone wrong by walking out of here? Before you can even begin to think about being able to walk again, you need to be able to get yourself dressed."

"Easier said than done," Finn says sarcastically.

"I know you can do this; you already almost have your right leg in, just push your leg the rest of the way through with your hands."

Finn groans out of frustration because he realizes that Burt is not going to give in and do it for him.

Thirty-two minutes later Finn finally has his pants on.

"See, I knew you could do it," Burt says.

"Yeah, it only took me almost an hour to put a stupid pair of jeans on."

"I'm sure with practice it'll get easier."

"Yeah, but I'll still have to put my pants on lying down, I mean who does that?"

"At least you know can get yourself dressed, that's a huge step on your way to becoming independent again; you should be proud of yourself."

"Oh yeah 'cause taking almost an hour to get yourself dressed is something a 16 year old should be proud of!" Finn says sarcastically.

"Finn, come on, you said you're going to try to have a positive attitude about all of this."

"I tried having a positive attitude, but I can't because this whole thing sucks! I'm learning how to change my own diapers and have to learn how to stick a tube up my dick just so I can take a piss; I don't even want to know what the hell I'm gonna have to do to take a crap; not to mention the fact that I can barely get myself dressed! I don't know about you, but that sure as hell doesn't sound like fun to me!" Finn exclaims, embarrassed because he breaks down crying.

Burt doesn't how to know how to respond to Finn's outburst; he knows that anything he says more than likely Finn will throw back in his face.

"Look, I know you're frustrated and embarrassed about all of this," Burt says.

"No, you think; I'm only practically a helpless baby," Finn says bitterly.

"You're not helpless; you just have to learn how to do some things a little differently from how you used to do them. Learning how to do these things, like how to transfer in and out of your wheelchair, how to cath yourself, and how to get yourself dressed, isn't going to be fun or easy. These next few days in particular won't be fun at all, but in the long run it's going to help you become as independent as possible. I promise you it will get easier."

"You know, I am so sick and tired of people trying to cheer me up and telling me to have a positive attitude; no one has any idea what the hell I'm going through!" Finn says, trying not to think about the fact that both Artie and Sean have told him it's important to have a positive attitude because they obviously could relate to what he's going through.

"Look, I've told you that I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but I do know that having a bad attitude and feeling sorry for yourself isn't helping anyone," Burt says. "I know you probably don't agree with me right now, but it really could have been a lot worse; you have a lot to be thankful for."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you're mind still works. That you still have complete use of your upper body or that you didn't break any bones in the accident, but instead only have some bad bruises and will probably have some nice scars; but most importantly you're alive."

"You mean I could've died? Finn asks.

" Finn, you were in a coma for several hours. I think it's safe to say those first several hours when you were unconscious were some of the longest hours of your mom's life…mine too. I can honestly say, I haven't prayed that hard since Kurt's mom lost her battle to cancer ten years ago. Your mom, me, Kurt, all your friends, even Mr. Schuster and Coach Beiste; we were all thinking of and praying for you; we still are. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty; I just want you realize that as bad as this seems, it could've been a heck of a lot worse."

"I really am trying to have a positive attitude about all of this, but it's just so frustrating not to be able to do something as easy as putting on a pair of jeans or knowing when I have to go to the bathroom."

"I know. You probably won't agree with me on this right now, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Both your mom and I believe that your accident happened for a reason," Burt says.

"How can you say that?" Finn asks, slightly offended. "What good can possibly come out of my accident? Of being paralyzed for the rest of my life?"

"To be honest I don't know the answers to those questions right now. But just because I don't know why you're accident happened doesn't mean there isn't a reason. I have no doubt that this whole ordeal will make you a stronger person, if you allow it to. By that I mean you have two options on how to deal with all of this: You can sit here complaining, feeling sorry for yourself and have the whole 'my life sucks and I didn't deserve this' attitude and be miserable for the rest of your life. Or you can have the attitude of 'I definitely never wanted this to happen, but I'm not going to allow my disability to hold me back and define who I am.' Instead of sitting here feeling sorry for yourself, you can chose to work hard to become as independent as possible. Those are your options; the choice is up to you."

As frustrated as Finn is with himself, he realizes that Burt's right: How he chooses to deal with the accident is completely 100% up to him; no one can make that decision for him. For the most part until now he's chosen to be miserable and feel sorry for himself, but he realizes now that hasn't really done anything for him. The fact is, he's paralyzed and most likely will be for the rest of his life. Yeah, it sucks but he can't change what happened. He realizes that feeling sorry for himself hasn't done anything for him and the idea of being miserable for the rest of his life doesn't sound really appealing to him; he figures he might as well give the other option a try.

"Burt, thanks," Finn says sincerely.

" For what?"

"For being here with me this morning and everything; I mean you could've made my Mom come in here and go through all of this with me which would've even more embarrassing. So, yeah, thanks."

"No problem."

"Like you said, it's not going to be easy, but I think I can do this."

"I know you can," Burt says, grateful that it seems Finn realizes that he really does have a lot to be thankful for.


	5. Humiliation

Finn is exhausted after spending the second-half of the morning getting fitted and measured for his wheelchair. Although he admits it'd been kind of cool to look at all the different options he had when it came to choosing the type of wheelchair he wanted. He ended up getting a manual blue Quickie2 wheelchair, but it would take a week or two until it would come in, so until then he's still stuck using the stupid hospital issued wheelchair. Because of all the measurements that had to be taken the whole process had taken longer than he had expected, but it had been by far the most pleasant part of his day so far.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

Before he knows it, it's time for him to cath again. Burt had cathed him the last time because it had to be done quickly since they had been waiting to get him fitted and measured for his wheelchair. This time he knows he won't be as lucky; this time he has to try to cath himself. The second his new nurse, Alyssa, a red-head probably in her late 20s, and Dan, a male nurse probably in his early 30s, walk into his room and he sees the catheter in Alyssa's hand, Finn suddenly gets really nervous. _How the hell am I going to stick that catheter up my dick?_

"Hey, Finn," Alyssa says. "Are you ready to try this?"

"No, not really," Finn says.

"Oh, come on, man, just think of it as another step on your way to becoming independent," Dan says trying to reassure the nervous and embarrassed teenage boy.

"Oh yeah, cause having to stick a tube up my dick to take a piss really makes me independent," Finn says sarcastically.

"Finn" Burt says in a warning tone.

"Sorry," Finn says quietly.

"It's okay, I know you don't like the idea of having to cath yourself and wish you could just go on your own, but I promise you it'll be a heck of a lot better than having your stepdad cath you," Dan says.

"Okay, so I'm going to take your diaper off here first and we'll help you transfer from the bed to the wheelchair so you can push yourself over to the bathroom and have you try to cath yourself while sitting on the toilet," Alyssa says.

"Speaking of diapers, when will I stop having to wear one? One of my friend's has to cath himself, but he only has to wear a diaper at night; during the day he's able to wear regular boxers with a small pad in them."

"Technically, you can stop wearing a diaper whenever you want, but I wouldn't recommend it until you've been dry for at least a full day between caths and definitely not until after you start your bowel routine. Your body will eventually create a sort of schedule, but it'll take a few days for your body to get used to your new routine," Dan says.

"Oh," Finn says.

"Go ahead and take your jeans off," Alyssa says as she and Dan both put on pair of latex gloves after she grabs a box of baby wipes in the drawer beside his bed.

"Can you help me?" Finn asks. "I got them on this morning, but it took me forever, ask Burt."

"It took him about forty minutes, but he was able to get them on himself," Burt says to Alyssa.

"Okay, how about I make you a deal, I'll help you take your pants off now, but after you're done cathing you're going to put your jeans back on yourself, okay?" Alyssa says, as she holds his legs up while Dan helps him pull his jeans off. She can tell Finn's embarrassed and a little nervous about all of this and he really just wants to get this all over with as quickly as possible.

"Okay," Finn mumbles embarrassed.

Once his jeans are off, Alyssa gently lifts his legs and guides them up toward his chest while Dan places a blue pad underneath him. After she removes his diaper, Alyssa hands Finn a baby wipe so he can wipe himself off.

"It's wet isn't?" Finn asks, as he catches a glimpse of his wet diaper in Alyssa's hand.

"Yeah, but just a little bit," Alyssa says as she throws away his wet diaper, trying to reassure him he has nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Yeah, like I said it's going to take several days for your body to create its own schedule and get used to your new routine," Dan says.

"All right, while don't you go ahead and sit up," Alyssa says while Dan pulls the wheelchair up to Finn's bed and places a blue pad on the seat as Finn pulls himself up on his bed with his hands.

"Okay, Finn, on three, we're going to pick you up and put you in the wheelchair," Dan says. "One, two, three," they all say and on three Alyssa and Dan lift him up and sit him down in the wheelchair.

"How are you feeling? Are you feeling all right?" Alyssa asks him.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Finn says, not wanting to admit that he had felt a little light-headed at first, but within a second or two he felt fine.

"Okay let's do this then," Dan says as Alyssa grabs all the supplies Finn will need.

"Finn, do you want me to wait out here?" Burt asks him, offering to give Finn the little bit of privacy he can offer him.

"No, it's fine, besides it's not like you haven't seen everything already," Finn says laughing, attempting to make light of the situation and trying not think about how he's sitting in a wheelchair almost completely naked with his penis hanging out for all to see.

"Okay," Burt says, as he, Dan, and Alyssa follow Finn as he wheels himself into the bathroom. Dan and Alyssa then help Finn transfer from the wheelchair to the toilet.

Dan then thoroughly explains to him how to insert the catheter into his penis and Alyssa hands him two baby wipes, one to wipe his hands with and one for him to wipe himself off down below. Alyssa then hands him the catheter and it is now time for him to try to do what he's been dreading, cath himself.

For the next ten minutes or so, Dan and Alyssa give him tips on how to insert it, while Burt stands beside him trying to encourage him as well.

After about ten minutes though, Finn is getting frustrated and feels as if he'll never get it, when he suddenly starts feeling light-headed again…and he throws up all over himself and the bathroom floor. Finn has to bite his lip to stop himself from crying because he's so embarrassed. _So much for spending almost an hour getting myself dressed. All that hard work for nothing! Can this day possibly get any worse?_

As Burt stands there, holding onto Finn in case he loses his balance, he can tell that Finn is absolutely humiliated and feels completely helpless as he sits there on the toilet wearing a shirt stained with his own puke. _Poor kid_, Burt thinks to himself. _He definitely doesn't deserve any of this._

"Hey, it's okay, this happens sometimes," Alyssa says trying to reassure Finn. "I'm sure this happened because you're not used to sitting up this long without really any support."

"One of the nurses's helped me rinse off in the shower the other day and I was okay then," Finn says.

"I know, but the shower chair gave you more support than you have here sitting on the toilet. Besides, I'm guessing since then you haven't really been up and out of your bed, have you?" Alyssa asks.

"No, not really," Finn says. "Hey, I don't have to keep trying to do this right, now do I?" he asks as he hands Dan his catheter.

"No, I'll just go ahead and cath you on your bed right now, but I would like you to try again in a few hours, so it's important that until then you're sitting up in your bed as much as possible; that way you don't have to worry about getting sick the next time you try to cath yourself," Dan says as he throws the catheter away.

"Okay," Finn says. "I'm sorry about all of this, throwing up all over everything, I mean."

"Finn, don't apologize; this isn't your fault," Alyssa says.

Dan and Alyssa help him back into the wheelchair and wheel him back and put him back in his bed. Alyssa then goes to clean up the bathroom floor, while Dan helps Finn clean himself up.

"You can give me your shirt then and I'll make sure it gets washed," Dan says as Finn takes off his stained shirt and hands it to him. "Until it's washed though you just going to have to wear a gown," he says as he takes a gown out of the closest in Finn's room. "Now would you like me to cath you or would prefer your stepdad to do it?"

"You can just go ahead and cath me," Finn says, thinking Dan can probably cath him a lot faster than Burt.

Okay," Dan says as he grabs a fresh diaper out of the drawer beside Finn's bed. After Dan finishes cathing Finn and putting a fresh diaper on him, Finn puts on a hospital gown "So are you okay for now then?" Dan asks him.

"Yeah, I think so," Finn says.

"I think we're good for now," Burt adds.

"Okay, like I said, you need to be sitting up in your bed as much as possible between now and when it's time for you to cath again, because not only do you need to be able to sit up long enough to cath yourself, but the plan is for you to start your bowel program tonight, which will require you to sit on the toilet for probably close to an hour. Not only that, but you're also supposed to start physical and occupational therapy tomorrow morning, so you can see how important it is for you to be sitting up \ in your bed or sitting in your wheelchair," Dan says, as Finn pushes the button on his remote so he can sit up in bed. "Speaking of your bowels though, do you happen to know when your last bowel movement was?"

"I have no idea," Finn says, blushing. _How embarrassing, I don't even know the last time I took a crap since I can't feel anything._

"I'm pretty sure he's only had one since he's been here and I want to say it was either Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. I remember though, Dr. Siegel saying that he was pleased with how soon he had one after the accident. Like I said though, I don't think he's had one since then; at least that I know of," Burt says.

"Well, then it's probably a good thing we're gonna get you started on your bowel program tonight. Don't worry about that right now though, we'll do that after dinner," Dan says as Alyssa says walks out of the bathroom and back into the room. "Anyway, if you're all set for now, we'll head on out and be back in to check on you in a little bit," Dan says as he and Alyssa walk out the door.

The second Dan and Alyssa are out the door, Finn breaks down crying. "Hey, hey, it's going to be okay, son," Burt says as he walks over besides Finn's bed to comfort him. As he says this, he realizes that over the past few months he's grown to love Finn and now considers him to be his son just as much as he considers Kurt to be his son.

"How do you know? How do you know everything's going to be okay?" Finn asks, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You said that it was going to get better, but right now it seems like it's only getting worse."

"It will get better, I promise," Burt says. "I also told you though, that these next few days aren't going to be much fun, but once you get your new routine down I think things are going to be a heck of a lot easier for you," he says.

"Burt, I can't even sit on the toilet for fifteen minutes without puking! How the hell am I supposed to be able to cath myself, do some sort of bowel program, not to mention learn how get myself in and out of my wheelchair?"

"It's just going to take some time, but I have no doubt that you'll be to do all of those things yourself before too long; you just need to be patient."

"I'm tired of waiting."

"I know you are, but like I said these things will come with time. I mean, you managed to get yourself completely dressed today, including putting your jeans on by yourself, that is a huge step!" Burt says, trying to reassure Finn. "Now, why don't you lie down and try to get some sleep for a little?"

"I'm not supposed to lie down."

"I know, but why don't you at least close your eyes and rest; I know you're tired. Besides your mom should be here before too long, so she'll probably be here when you wake up."

"Okay," Finn says, as he closes his eyes.

As Burt sits back down in the chair beside Finn, he can only hope and pray that things will get better for Finn…soon.


	6. With a Little Help from Some Friends

A few minutes after 3pm, Carole walks into Finn's hospital room.

"Hey, sweetheart, how are you doing?" she asks as she walks over to Finn's bed, gives him a hug and kisses him on his forehead.

"Okay, a little tired, but other than that I'm fine."

"That's good. I've brought you some clean clothes," Carole says, taking a pair of gray sweatpants and a gray and red "McKinley High Football" t-shirt out of a plastic bag.

"I thought that sweatpants might be a little easier for you to put on than jeans," Burt says.

"Yeah, probably" Finn says. "Thanks."

"Do you want to go ahead and put them on now?" Carole asks.

"Uh, no, Kurt just texted me a few minutes ago saying that he and Blaine on their way. I know there's no way I could get them on in like ten minutes," Finn laughs.

"I could help you put them on before they get here," Burt says.

"No, it's okay; I'll just wait and put them on later."

"Are you sure?" Burt asks.

"Yeah," Finn says.

"Okay."

"I also brought your laptop for you," Carole says, setting his laptop case down on the little table at the end of his bed. "Kurt thought you might want it so you can talk to people on Facebook and Skype with your friends."

"I don't think I'll be Skyping with anyone; I don't really want people to see me looking like this. It's one thing if my friends see me looking like this if they come to visit, it's another to Skype with them," Finn says laughing.

"Okay, well anyway, your laptop's here if you want to use it," Carole says. "So how's your day been?" she asks, changing the subject.

"Well, it hasn't exactly been fun." Finn says.

"It sounds like though you're on your way to learning how to be independent; with learning how to get yourself dressed and everything," Carole says, trying to encourage him.

"Yeah, but it took me forever and then I puked all over myself like an hour later."

" That's still a huge accomplishment," Carole says.

"That's what I keep telling him," Burt says.

Just then there's a knock at the door. "Knock, knock" Kurt says.

"Come in," Finn says as his stepbrother walks into the room with his new boyfriend, Blaine. "It's about time you guys got here," Finn says. "Kurt, you suddenly have too busy of a social life to visit your own stepbrother?" Finn says teasing him.

"Yeah, yeah," Kurt says as he walks over to the other side of Finn's bed as Blaine follows right behind him. As awful as it sounds, Kurt has purposely been avoiding the hospital as much as possible. It's not that he doesn't care about Finn; because he does; it's just that he hates hospitals. He's seen way too many people he's cares about in them; he remembers visiting his Mom while she was dying of cancer, visiting his Dad only a few months ago after he had his heart attack, and now Finn. Visiting Finn just brought back all of those unpleasant memories that he wishes he could just forget. He knows though that he needs to be there for Finn, which is why he'd talked Blaine into coming with him to visit Finn; he didn't think he could handle coming to visit Finn alone. "How are you feeling?" Kurt asks.

"Okay, still a little sore, but I'm sure I'd probably be in a lot more pain if I had feeling below my waist."

"In a way then I guess it's a good thing, you can't feel anything below your waist," Kurt says without thinking.

"No, I'd give anything to be able to feel the pain. Pain isn't fun, but it's better than not being able to feel anything at all."

"Sorry, that was a really inconsiderate thing to say" Kurt says, feeling bad for saying something that probably only made Finn feel even worse. _Gosh, this is Finn, my stepbrother; why the hell can't I just talk to him the way I normally do? Okay, yeah he's in the hospital, but he's still the same person._ "I have to say you look a lot better than you did a few days ago; you're not really hooked up to any machines anymore at least," Kurt says trying to redeem himself.

"Yeah, I got rid of the IV yesterday. Now that I'm in rehab-"Finn says, as he's cut off by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Finn says as Quinn and Mercedes walk through the door.

"Hey, Finn, how are you doing?" Mercedes asks. "Hey Kurt, Blaine," she says acknowledging her best friend and his new boyfriend.

"I've been better, that's for sure," Finn says, laughing nervously. It's not that he doesn't want to see Quinn and Mercedes…because he does, especially Quinn; it's just that he's sitting in a hospital bed…wearing a hospital gown and a diaper in front of the girl he likes and her best friend. He self-consciously pulls his blanket up a little bit in an attempt to make sure that Quinn and Mercedes won't see he's wearing a diaper.

"Finn, I've missed you so much," Quinn says as she leans over to give him a hug.

"I've missed you too…I've missed everyone in Glee," Finn says not wanting to make it too obvious that Quinn's the person he's missed the most.

"Carole, why don't we let these kids catch up while we go get something to eat," Burt says.

"Okay, sounds good," Carole says stopping herself from giving Finn a hug, not wanting to risk him embarrassing in front of his friends.

"We'll be back in a little bit, sweetheart," she says as she follows Burt out of Finn's room.

"Okay," Finn says as his Mom walks out the door. He's grateful for some time without his Mom and Burt. It's not that he isn't grateful that they've been there with him through this whole ordeal, but it's nice to be able to spend some time with just his friends.

"Finn, don't take this the wrong way, but you look a lot better than I thought you would," Quinn says after Burt and Carole are out of Finn's room.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I wasn't sure what to expect, like whether you would be hooked up to lots of machines and everything," Quinn says.

"You should've seen him the first day or so when he was still in ICU, then he was hooked up to a bunch of machines and had lots of tubes and wires attached to him," Kurt says, cringing at his memory of seeing Finn when he had a chest tube, oxygen, an IV, and several other tubes and machines attached to him.

"Yeah, it's a good thing I don't really remember any of that," Finn says, not wanting to think about how bad he must've looked.

"Yeah, well you might've looked like that the first day or two, but now, now you look normal, like…like you should be able to…" Quinn says, trying not to cry.

"Like I should be able to jump out of this bed and walk out the door," Finn says.

"Yeah," Quinn says. _Come on, Quinn, pull yourself together; you need to be strong for him. _

"But I can't, I can't move my legs and I can't feel anything below my waist. I'll never walk again," Finn says matter-of-factly.

As Kurt hears Finn say this he has to look away for a second because he doesn't want Finn to see the few tears that fall from his eyes. He's known for a day or two that Finn would probably never walk again, but hearing Finn say it makes it seem all the more real.

_This is really happening,_ Quinn thinks to herself. _Finn is paralyzed, he won't play football again…he won't…_she can't go there right now because she knows if she does she'll start crying and she can't bear the thought of Finn seeing her cry.

"Finn, you don't know that," Mercedes says. "Miracles do happen. Do you remember when Kurt's dad had his heart attack and my church had a special service for him? Well I had them do the same thing for you on Sunday."

"Thanks, Mercedes," Finn says. He's still not sure how he feels about the whole God thing, but he appreciates that people are praying for him.

"Yeah, Finn, everyone's praying for you," Quinn says. "I know the guys told me they would've come with us today if they didn't have football practice."

"Oh, that's right the championship game is on Friday," Finn says.

"Yeah, it is," Quinn say, looking at Mercedes to let her know not to mention that Coach Sylvester is making them choose once and for all, either Cheerios or Glee. As of, right now she's leaning towards Glee Club, but the last thing Finn needs is something else to worry about.

"I wish I could be there, instead of being stuck here. It really sucks that we finally make it to the championship game and I don't even get to play in it. It kind of reminds me of that movie, _Remember the Titians,_ you know? I just hope Sam steps up as quarterback and the Titans kick some ass out there on the field. "

"Finn, don't do this to yourself," Quinn says.

"Do what ?"

"Make yourself miserable by dwelling on things you have no control over, on the things you can't do," Quinn says.

"According to my Dad, that's what he's been doing all day," Kurt says.

"Thanks for the encouragement, bro," Finn says sarcastically. "If you only knew all the crap I've been through just today alone. The highlight of my day before you guys got here was when I got measured for my wheelchair. I've been poked, prodded, and oh yeah it took me almost an hour to get myself dressed and then an hour later I threw up all over myself. Sound like fun?"

"No, not at all," Kurt says, realizing he'd been a little harsh.

"Look, I'm sorry if I sound like I have a bad attitude about all of this, I'm trying to have a positive attitude it's just not easy, if you know what I mean," Finn says.

"Hey, it's okay, I mean it's not like we can relate to what you're going through," Blaine says.

"That's for sure," Finn says. "To put it bluntly, it sucks. I feel like I can't do anything, I feel like a helpless baby." _And the fact that I'm wearing a diaper makes me feel even more like a baby._

"Finn, you're not helpless. I mean it looks as if you're arms and everything are okay," Mercedes says trying to cheer him up.

"According to my doctor I'm paralyzed from the waist down. He said after I have another MRI though, they'll be able to see the full extent of my injuries now that the swelling has probably gone down around my spinal cord."

"When are you having the MRI?" Quinn asks.

"I guess probably tomorrow. My doctor wanted to try to get me in to have it today but I'm guessing since it's already late afternoon, I probably won't have it till tomorrow."

"All we can do is hope and pray that you'll get more sensation back. Miracles do happen," Mercedes says.

"Hey, Finn, sorry I can't stay really long, but I kind of need to get home because I have lot of homework I need to do," Kurt says thinking of an excuse to leave. He feels bad for not staying for very long, but he knows if he stays much longer he'll completely lose his composure, which would only make things worse for Finn.

"Kurt, we just got here," Blaine says. He can tell that Kurt wants to leave because he feels uncomfortable and is having a hard time seeing Finn like this, but he hopes that pushing Kurt to stay longer will make him feel more comfortable around Finn.

"Yeah, but I have a math test tomorrow I need to study for," Kurt says looking at Blaine to let him he wants to…no needs to leave. He tried, he really tired, but he just can't handle seeing someone he cares about so much in the hospital.

"It's fine, I understand," Finn says. Yeah, he understands all right; his own stepbrother is afraid to be around him and can't handle seeing him in the hospital. He wishes he could assure Kurt that he doesn't' have to worry, that he's going to be okay, but he doesn't know what to say.

"I know you'll be out of here and back home in no time," Blaine says as he says goodbye to Finn.

"Yeah, Finn, I definitely want you to hurry up and get back home; I never thought I'd say this but I miss having to share a room with you," Kurt says as he gives Finn a hug goodbye.

"Thanks, bro," Finn says.

"I'll make sure to come visit you again in a few days," Kurt says as he and Blaine head towards the door. As hard as it is for him to see Finn in the hospital, he knows he can't completely abandon him; Finn needs him now more than ever.

"Thanks," Finn says as Kurt and Blaine walk out the door.

"So, Finn, how are you really doing?" Quinn asks after Kurt and Blaine are gone. She and Mercedes walk over to the other side of Finn's bed and sit down in the two chairs near his bed.

"Okay, I guess. I started rehab today, which basically means I'm learning how to be independent again. I never thought at 16, I'd have to re- learn how to get myself dressed; it seriously took me over a half an hour just to put on a pair of jeans…and then less than an hour later I threw up all over myself."

"Yeah, that's what you said," Mercedes said.

"Finn, like I said you look really good; I mean it doesn't look you have any tubes connected to you and you're sitting up and everything," Quinn says, trying to lift his spirits.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure I look real attractive sitting here in a hospital gown," Finn says sarcastically. "And I don't even want to think about how bad I probably smell since other than when one of the nurse's helped me rinse off in the shower, I haven't showered since before my accident."

"And you still turn to sarcasm when you're in an uncomfortable situation," Quinn says laughing.

"Well, duh," Finn says, "just 'cause I can't walk doesn't mean I'm not the same person."

"I know," Quinn says quietly. _And I still love you just as much…if not more than ever,_ she thinks to herself.

"I wish Kurt would realize I'm still the same person. It was obvious that he didn't know how to act around me." Finn asks.

"Give Kurt some time," Mercedes says. "He's never done well with hospitals 'cause of his mom and everything. He'll soon realize that you're the same great, but at times, annoying stepbrother that you've always been to him."

"I know, it's just how come you guys have no problem being around me and aren't treating me any differently, but Kurt can barely have a normal conversation with me. Puck and the guys didn't know how act to around me either. I mean, none of us ever treated Artie any differently because he's in a wheelchair, so why can't it be the same way with me?"

"Because Artie's been in a wheelchair since he was eight, we're used to him being in a wheelchair. I'm sure it won't take long for the guys to realize that you're the same Finn Hudson you've always been," Mercedes says.

"But you guys had no problem realizing that right away," Finn says.

"Yeah, well maybe girls just deal with change better than guys do," Quinn says teasing him.

"Hey," Finn says acting as if she'd offended him, but he knew she was just teasing him.

"I'm just kidding," Quinn says, laughing.

"I know."

"Honestly, though I'm impressed with how you well you seem to be dealing with all this," Quinn says.

"Seriously, I mean if I were you I'd probably be sitting here all bitter and have a 'my life sucks' attitude," Mercedes says.

"Oh, believe me, I've had my share of outbursts and moments I'm not too proud of, just ask my Mom or Burt," Finn says laughing. "I've even broke down crying a time or two."

"That's understandable," Quinn says.

"It's just frustrating because less than a week ago I was playing football, now I can't even get myself from my bed to my wheelchair. Like I said, I feel like such a baby because I have to someone help me do basically everything."

"Finn, you're not a helpless baby, it's just going to take a while for you to learn how to take care of yourself and to adjust to everything; but isn't that the whole point of rehab?"Mercedes asks.

"Yeah, and I'm trying to be patient. I mean obviously, it's going to take time; it's just I'm tired of waiting," Finn says.

"Yeah, well patience has never been your strong point," Quinn says, teasing him once again.

"Thanks, Q," Finn says sarcastically, grateful that at least Quinn and Mercedes are able to joke around with him.

"Well, I hate to break up the party," Mercedes says as she looks at her watch and realizes that she and Quinn have been there now for over an hour, "but we should probably get going."  
"Yeah, we probably should," Quinn says standing up.

"Thanks for stopping by. Seriously, this has definitely been the best part of my day; believe me trying to learn how to ca...take care of myself hasn't been fun" Finn mumbles, slightly embarrassed that he almost accidentally told them he's been trying to learn how to cath himself.

"I'm glad that we were able to make your day a little better," Mercedes says as she stands and walks over to give Finn a hug goodbye.

"Yeah, I'm glad we got to see you. Like I said, everyone really misses you, especially me," Quinn says quietly as she hugs Finn.

"I miss you too," Finn says as he holds onto her tight, enjoying the closeness; he'd forgotten how much he'd loved her hugs. As Quinn goes to break away from the hug, instead of letting of go he pulls her closer to him and without even realizing what he's doing he kisses lightly on the lips. _Shit! _he thinks, instantly realizing that he's kissing Quinn, he quickly pulls away. "Uh, sorry, I don't know what I was thinking," he says, blushing.

"No, it's okay…it felt nice," Quinn says, not knowing what else to say. _Nice? More like absolutely amazing! Okay, calm down, Q; just because you've noticed him looking at you the last couple of weeks and just because he kissed doesn't necessarily mean he likes you and wants to give us a second chance. For all you know, he might've kissed you because he's on really strong pain-killers and didn't even realize what he was doing._

Mercedes isn't sure what to say; yeah it'd been obvious that Finn and Quinn definitely still had feelings for each other, anyone could see that…but that, that she didn't expect.

"Anyway, we, uh, better get going," Quinn says.

"Like I said, thanks for coming," Finn says, praying that he just didn't screw everything up with Quinn.

"Yeah, we'll see you, Finn," Mercedes says, as she heads towards the door.

"Bye, Finn," Quinn says, as she follows Mercedes out the door.

"Bye," Finn says, as he watches them both walk out the door of his room.

"Oh my gosh," Finn says, out loud the second they are both out the door. "Oh my gosh, I just kissed Quinn! I can't believe I did that! I mean, it was amazing, but I hope I didn't just screw everything up!"

**Author's Note: After all the amazing Finn/Quinn moments we've gotten the past two episodes I couldn't help but put a Finn/Quinn kiss in this chapter; hopefully it doesn't seem too out of place.**


	7. Fatherly Advice & Support

All Finn can think about is he how kissed Quinn. On one hand, he wishes he could take back that kiss; on the other hand, he's glad kissed her because it felt so awesome; it reminded him of how amazing they had been together. He just wishes he knew exactly what Quinn thought of that kiss. He knows they'll eventually have to talk about it; but he thinks he should give her some time to think about everything…he needs some time to think too. In an effort to force himself to stop obsessing over the kiss, Finn decides to try to close his eyes and rest for awhile, although he highly doubts he'll be able to fall asleep since he's not really allowed to lie down.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

He must have managed to fall asleep though because the next thing he knows, his Mom and Burt are standing beside his bed, waking him up.

"Sweetheart, I know you're tired, but you need to wake up," Carole says, touching his forehead gently.

"Why?" Finn asks, he's tired and just wants to go back to sleep.

"Your nurses would like you to try to cath yourself again," Burt says.

"Do I have to?" Finn asks, even though he knows he does.

"Yes, now your nurses will be back in a few minutes, so get yourself awake so you'll be ready for them," Carole says.

"I don't want to do this, what if I throw up all over myself again?"

"You won't; you were fine the whole time your friends were here, right?"Carole asks.

"Yeah, I just hope I don't throw up again; I really hate throwing up."

"No one likes throwing up," Carole says laughing.

"Don't worry about it; you'll be fine," Burt says to reassure him.

"Finn, I'm going to go run some errands while you do this, but I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" Carole says.

"Okay," Finn says.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Carole says as she kisses his forehead and then heads toward the door.

"Thanks," Finn says as she walks out the door, although he isn't sure if she meant he'll be fine cathing himself or that he'll be fine in general.

"You okay?" Burt asks, he can tell something's bothering Finn and he doesn't think it has anything to do with him having to try to cath himself again.

"Can I tell you something?" Finn asks. "And like can you not tell my Mom 'cause it's kinda embarrassing?"

"Yeah, sure," Burt says.

"I kissed Quinn," Finn says. "She went to give me a hug goodbye and I kissed her. And now I'm afraid I screwed everything up."

"Well, how did she react to it?" Burt asks."Did she seem upset?"

"No, she said, 'it felt nice,' which I guess is a good thing."

"Well it sounds like then that she at least wasn't upset that you kissed her, but the only way you're going to know for sure how she feels about you is to ask her," Burt says.

"I know, but I'm kind of nervous."

"Well, until you do you're just going to drive yourself crazy wondering," Burt says.

"Hey, Finn," Dan says, as he and Alyssa walk into Finn's room. "Are you to ready to give this another try?" As Dan says this Burt looks at Finn as if to say, "We'll finish this conversation later."

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Finn says, a little nervously.

"You've got nothing to worry about," Alyssa says she walks around to the other side of his bed and grabs a box of latex gloves, a catheter, a box of baby wipes, and a blue pad out of the drawer beside his bed.

"We're just going to do this the same way we did last time," Dan says.

"Just without me puking all over myself," Finn says.

"Yeah, and you're actually going to cath yourself this time, I know you can do it," Dan says.

"You've been fine sitting up in your bed this whole time, right?" Alyssa asks.

"Yeah."

"Then you've got nothing to worry about," Dan says. "If you've been able to sit up in your bed for the last three and a half hours, you'll have no problem being able to sit on the toilet long enough for you to cath yourself."

"Finn, why don't you go ahead and lie down and I'll take your diaper off," Alyssa says as she hands Dan a pair of latex gloves and then puts a pair on herself.

"Okay," Finn says as he lays his bed down and then pulls up his hospital gown up so it's a little bit above his diaper.

Dan then gently lifts Finn's legs up to his chest while Alyssa places a blue pad underneath him.

"Hey guess what?" Alyssa says after removing Finn's diaper, she then hands the diaper to Dan so he can throw it away.

"What?" Finn asks.

"You're dry," Alyssa says.

"Sweet," Finn says. _I just need to stay dry for a whole day and then I can stop wearing these stupid diapers except for at night!_

"Finn, I'm going to warn you though, just because you're dry this time doesn't necessarily mean that from this point on you'll always be dry in between caths; so don't be surprised if you're wet between caths just as often as you are dry over the next few days," Dan says. "Like I said it will take several days, even up to a week for your body to get used to its new schedule."

"Okay," Finn says, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"You can go ahead and sit up," Alyssa says while she takes another blue pad out of the drawer and sets it on the wheelchair.

"All right, Finn, on three, we're going to pick you up and put in the wheelchair," Dan says.

"One, two, three," all three of them say as Dan and Alyssa lifts Finn on three and set him in the wheelchair.

"You feel okay?" Alyssa asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I don't feel light-headed or anything," Finn says.

"You sure? 'Cause if you need a minute or two just to get used to sitting in the chair, that's okay," Dan says.

"No, I'm fine. Let's do this," Finn says as he starts pushing himself to the bathroom. Dan grabs all of the supplies Finn will need, and along with Alyssa and Burt follows Finn into the bathroom.

"Okay, I'm not sure if I said this last time or not, but it's really, really important that you keep yourself clean to try avoid getting a UTI at all costs," Dan says and after he and Alyssa have transferred Finn from the wheelchair onto the toilet.

"What's a UTI?" Finn asks.

"A Urinary Tract Infection," Dan says.

"Since you'll have to self-catheterize yourself it will be very easy for you to get a UTI and you want to avoid getting one at all costs because you wouldn't know if you got one because you have no sensation there," Alyssa says.

"In order to try to avoid getting a UTI it's important to wipe your hands and between your legs with a wet wipe beforehand and to wear latex gloves when you cath yourself," Dan says handing Finn two wipes.

After Finn is done wiping himself off, Dan hands him a pair of latex of gloves and he puts them. _I can do this_, Finn thinks to himself as Alyssa hands him a catheter.

Dan once again explains to him how to insert the catheter, surprisingly after only a couple tries he gets the catheter in.

"Okay Finn, just slowly keep pushing the catheter in until urine starts to flow, that's how you know it's reached your bladder," Dan says.

Finn nervously pushes the catheter in a little farther…and "Sweet," Finn says smiling, as urine starts to flow through the catheter into the toilet. _I did it, I'm peeing! _

"Um, I-I think I'm done," Finn says several seconds later.

"Okay, just slowly pull the catheter out and make sure you're done," Dan says.

Finn then pulls the catheter out, "What should I do with this now?"

"You can hand it to me, along with your gloves and I'll throw them away," Alyssa says.

"I can't believe I just cathed myself," Finn says as he takes off his gloves and hands them to Alyssa to throw away._ I know it's not technically going to the bathroom on my since I'm peeing through a tube but it's a hell of a lot better than just going in my diaper and not even knowing when I do.  
_

"See, it wasn't that bad was it?" Dan asks him.

"No, it was actually a hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be," Finn says.

"See, I told you had nothing to worry about," Burt says.

"You think you're up for learning how to put a diaper on yourself?" Alyssa asks.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Finn says, although he hates the idea of it because it just makes the situation seem all the more permanent.

"All right, let's get you back in your chair because the easiest way for you to change your diaper will be lying down on your bed," Alyssa says.

Dan and Alyssa lift Finn back into his wheelchair and Finn pushes himself back to his bed with Burt walking out behind them.  
Finn wheels himself up to the side of his bed as Alyssa grabs a diaper from the drawer and sets it in the middle of his bed.

"Once you learn how to get yourself from your wheelchair to your bed, you'll be able to do this all yourself," Dan says. "But for now we'll just pick you up like we've been doing."

"When will I learn how to transfer myself?" Finn asks.

"Well, you're to start physical and occupational therapy tomorrow morning I think, so I imagine you'll start learning how to do your own transfers then," Alyssa says.

"Okay," Finn says.

Dan and Alyssa then lift him onto his bed, directly on top of the diaper and he lays down. "Okay, Finn you're going to reach down between your legs and pull your diaper up," Dan says, as he pulls his gown up a little so it isn't in his way.

Finn is pleasantly surprised that he's able pull his diaper up and get it in place so easily. "Everything's in place, right?" he asks a little nervously. The last thing he wants is for his diaper to be out of place and end up wetting the bed.

"Yep, it looks like it," Dan says.

"Sweet, that was pretty easy," he says. _Never thought I'd be relieved to be able to put a diaper on myself._

"Well good," Alyssa says. "Hey, well, here in a little, after you eat your dinner we're going to try starting you on your bowel routine."

"Are you guys going to be the ones to teach me all of that?" Finn asks, hoping they are because he has a feeling this is going to be even more embarrassing than learning how to cath himself.

"Yeah, we should be," Dan says.

"Okay, good," Finn says trying to reassure himself.

"Do you need anything else?" Dan asks. "If not we're going to head out for now, but we'll be back later then."

"Yeah, I'm good," Finn says.

"Okay, we'll see you in a little then," Alyssa says as she and Dan starting walking towards the door.

"Okay," Finn says.

"Thanks for your help," Burt says, as Alyssa and Dan walk out the door. "How are you feeling?" he says as he walks over to the other side of Finn's bed.

"Exhausted, if you want me to be honest," Finn says. "I know it sounds pathetic 'cause it wasn't like I had to do much, but that took a lot of energy out of me."

"No, it makes sense, getting out of your bed and into your wheelchair and onto the toilet and back, I can see how that would tire you out."

"Burt, I didn't even transfer myself; basically all I did was sit on the toilet and insert my catheter," Finn says.

"Yeah, but it's going to take a little while for you to get your energy back," Burt says, trying to reassure him.

"I know, it's just frustrating though," Finn says. "Even so though, I have to admit, as ridiculous as it sounds, I'm pretty damn proud about being able to cath myself and it definitely is better than going in my diaper."

"That's not ridiculous, you should be proud of yourself, it's another huge step on your way to becoming independent…I'm proud of you."

"You're proud of me for being able to cath myself?"Finn asks trying not to laugh because the whole idea of it sounds ridiculous.

"Yeah, but even I've more proud about your sudden change in attitude."

"Yeah, well I realized that being miserable wasn't doing me any good, so I figured I might as well try having a positive attitude."

"Good."

The next several minutes are filled with an uncomfortable silence.

"Burt, do you think I should text Quinn?"Finn asks, breaking the silence.

"Finn, I can't make that decision for you."

"I know, it's just I keep thinking about that kiss."

"The only way you're going to find out how she really feels about you is if you tell her how you feel."

"I know it's just I don't know how she's feels about me … like this," Finn says.

"Finn, you're still the same guy you were before your accident, you know that and it's obvious that Quinn knows that too."

"Not physically, though. Do you think she could like me even though I'm now in a wheelchair? Do you think she'd date me if she knew I don't even know when I have to go to the bathroom; if she knew I'm wearing a diaper?" _What if I'm not able to ever have sex again? She'd never date me then, would she? But what if I can have sex? It wouldn't exactly be sexy to take my diaper off …or even my boxers with a pad in them… in front of her if we have sex? No girl, not even Quinn, could get turned off by me after seeing me in a diaper, right?_

"I don't know, Finn," Burt says, interrupting Finn's thoughts. "It is obvious though that Quinn cares a lot about you, but I can't speak for her as to whether or not she thinks of you as a friend or something more."

"I know."

"I don't think your accident has changed how Quinn feels about you, but if she does reject you just because you're paralyzed, then she's not worth it. If any girl rejects you because of your disability, they're just simply not worth it, don't you ever forget that."

"I won't." Finn says. "Thanks for talking about all of this with me; I'm not exactly comfortable talking about girls with my Mom."

"No problem," Burt says.

Talking with Burt has made Finn feel a little better about the whole Quinn situation, but he still doesn't think he's quite ready yet to talk to her about the kiss or to admit to her how he really feels about her. Finn's grateful to have Burt there with him, especially for the whole learning how to cath thing and for when he'll have to learn how to do his bowel program later that night; he can't imagine how embarrassing it would have been to have his Mom there with him while he was learning how to cath himself and how to change his own diaper; yeah it was definitely still embarrassing with Burt there but it could've been a hell of a lot worse. He's also grateful to be able to talk to Burt about the whole situation with Quinn; yeah he knows Burt's right about not being able to tell him what to do when it comes to talking to Quinn, but at least he has someone to talk about it with. Finn doesn't remember his Dad and he's never really had a father figure, but over the last several months Burt has become the closest thing he's ever had to a dad, especially over the past several days since his accident…and for that he couldn't be more grateful.


	8. End of Rehab Day One

It's a few hours later and Finn has just finished eating dinner.  
"Hey, I think I'm going to head home for the evening," Carole says, getting up from her chair beside Finn's bed.

"Already?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, your nurses will be in here soon for you to start your bowel routine and I don't think you want me here for that."

"I know, but can't you just, I don't know, wait outside till I'm done or something?" Finn asks, not wanting his Mom to leave yet.

"Finn, it's going to take close to an hour for you to do this, possibly even longer since it's the first time; by the time you're done visiting hours will be about over," Burt says.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Finn says.

"I'll be back though first thing tomorrow morning," Carole says.

"You're not going to work?"

"No, I am," Burt says. "Since you're Mom and I both work, we're going to start taking shifts, tomorrow your mom will be here in the morning while I have the tire shop open for a few hours, and then I'll be here in the afternoon while she's at work."

"I wish we both could be here with you, but we'll make sure one of us is always here with you during the day and then we'll both be here in the evenings, okay?" Carole says.

"Okay."

"Well, I'm going to get going, but I'll see you tomorrow morning then," Carole says as she gives him a hug goodbye and kisses him on the forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom," Finn says as his Mom walks out the door.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

A few minutes later, Dan walks into Finn's room carrying with him a bunch of supplies with what Finn assumes is all for his bowel program. "Hey, you ready to learn your new bathroom routine?" Dan asks.

"Not really," Finn says quietly.

"Yeah, I know this isn't exactly going to be fun, but once again it's part of learning to become independent," Dan says.

"Yeah, I know."

"Before you get started with this though, I'm going to have you cath again first," Dan says. "But here's the deal, since it's just me tonight, I need you to help me out with your transfers as much as you can."

"Where's Alyssa?" Finn asks.

"Well, technically our shift ended a few minutes ago and Alyssa had to get home, but I stuck around so you didn't have to have a new nurse teach you this."

"Thanks," Finn says, grateful that Dan was nice enough to stay late so he didn't have to a new nurse teach him his bowel program. "How am I supposed to help you with my transfers though?"

"By using your upper body strength to help you lift yourself up to get into your wheelchair. First, though I'm going to have you take your diaper off," he says as he grabs the container of wet wipes, two blue pads, a catheter, and two pairs of latex gloves from the drawer beside Finn's bed. "But you're going to do this yourself this time."

"Okay," Finn says as he pulls up his gown above his diaper and is about to take his diaper off when…

"Whoa, whoa, you need to put one of these underneath yourself first, just in case," Dan says as he hands Finn a blue pad to put underneath himself.

"Oh yeah, right, sorry," Finn says, taking the blue pad and placing it between his legs.

"It's okay, just better safe than sorry," Dan says, hoping he didn't embarrass him. "You can go ahead take your diaper off now."

"It's wet. Actually it's more like soaked" Finn says, unable hide his disappointment as he hands Dan his wet diaper to throw away.

"Yeah, it is, but like I said it's going to take a little while for your body to get used to all of this…this will happen for probably the next several days."

"Yeah, Finn, there's no reason for you to be embarrassed about any of this," Burt says, trying to reassure him.

"Yeah, there's nothing to be embarrassed about," Dan says, as he puts a blue pad on Finn's wheelchair. "All right, let's get you into your chair here then, you can go ahead and sit up."

Finn uses his hands to help him sit up. "So what exactly do you want me to do?"

"I'll lift your legs for you, but by pushing down on your bed with your hands try lifting the rest of yourself up into your wheelchair," Dan says.

"Okay."

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, one-two-three." On "three" Dan lifts Finn's legs and Finn pushes his hands down on the bed to try push himself up, but no matter how hard he tries he can't seem to lift his butt off the bed.

"I don't think I can do it," Finn says, frustrated with himself for not being able to lift his ass off the bed.

"It's okay, I'll just pick you up and set you in your chair," Dan says.

"Sorry," Finn says.

"Hey, it's okay, it's not your fault and at least you were willing to try," Dan says. "And don't worry, just because you can't do it right now, doesn't mean you won't be able to eventually; it's something you can try to work on with your physical therapist."

"Okay."

"Now as I pick you up, I want you to put your arm around my neck."

"Okay."

"You ready?" Dan asks Finn.

"Yeah."

"Okay, one-two-three," Dan says and on "three" he picks Finn up, who quickly puts his arm around his neck. Burt watches how Dan picks up Finn, knowing that more than likely he'll have to pick Finn up and carry him at some point. In fact, he realizes that Finn won't even be able to get into their house or downstairs to the basement bedroom he and Kurt share without having to be carried up or down steps.

"You okay?" Dan asks as he sits Finn down in the wheelchair.

"Yeah, I'm good," Finn says.

"All right," Dan says as he gathers up all the supplies Finn will need to cath himself and for his bowel program as he follows Finn into the bathroom, with Burt following behind them.

"Okay, why don't you go ahead and cath yourself," Dan says he hands Finn a pair of latex gloves after sitting him on the toilet. "Since you can do this yourself now, I'll just let you go ahead and do it," he says as he hands Finn two wet wipes and a catheter.

Finn then caths himself, this time it's even easier for him to do and he gets the catheter in almost immediately.

"Okay, since you're already sitting here on the toilet, do you want to go ahead and try to do this yourself? Otherwise, you'll have to go back out to your room and lie down on your bed so I can teach your stepdad how to do this," Dan says after Finn finishes cathing and he throws away Finn's catheter and latex gloves for him.

"Um, I guess since I'm already here, I might as well try doing it myself," Finn says.

"All right, we're going to try to do this without having to give you a suppository, but I have some of here if you end up needing them," Dan says. "Basically, you just want to avoid making it any messier than it has to be."

"Um, okay," Finn says not liking the sound of this already.

"Hey, the one nice thing about this is more than likely you'll only have to do this every other day," Dan says trying to make it sound a little better.

"Well, I guess that's good," Finn says, trying to have a positive attitude.

"It's important though to try to make sure to always do it at the same time, that way your body will create its own schedule, which means you'll be less likely to have accidents."

"Accidents? You mean like I'll crap my pants?"Finn asks.

"As long you take care of yourself, eat healthy, and stick to your routine, for the most part you'll be fine; but, yeah, occasionally you'll have accidents. You'll also occasionally have accidents between caths too; again it won't be very often but it's bound to happen sometimes," Dan says, being honest with Finn.

"Great, I have to worry about peeing and pooping my pants like a little kid," Finn says sarcastically.

"I know it sucks, but like I said as long you take care of yourself, eat healthy, and stick to your routines, they won't happen very often. I do recommend though that you wear a pad in your boxers so that if you end up having an accident between caths every once and awhile you won't' have to worry about changing your pants and your boxers."

"Yeah, that's my friend Artie told me, he has to cath too. But a pad won't really help much if I crap my pants will it?"Finn asks.

"No, it won't; that's why it's best to always have an extra pair of pants and boxers with you so you're prepared when that happens."

"Okay," Finn says, still not liking the fact that he now has to worry about having accidents.

"Anyway, why don't I go ahead and explain how you're going to do this. The first thing you have to do is put on a clean latex glove and then put some lubricant on your finger. Then you'll insert the tip of your finger into your anus and circle your finger around a few times to stimulate yourself. After that you'll sit here and wait until you start to go. If after about ten or fifteen minutes you haven't started to go yet, put some more lubricant on your finger and try again; you might have to do this a couple of times before you start to go, especially this first time. If after about half an hour you still haven't started to go, then I'm going to have to give you a suppository," Dan says hesitantly, he doesn't want Finn to worry, but he knows he needs to warn him of the possibility. "Anyway, when you're done going, just wipe off and clean yourself up and you're done."

_I literally have to stick my finger up my ass, gross! _Finn thinks to himself. "Um, how will I know when I'm done since I can't exactly feel anything down there?"

"Don't worry, you'll know," Dan says. "You ready to try this?"

"Uh, I guess so," Finn says nervously.

"You'll be fine," Burt says trying to reassure Finn.

Dan then hands Finn a new latex glove which he puts on his right hand. "All right, I'm just going to put a little lubricant on your finger," he says, as he opens a packet of KY Jelly and puts a dab of it on Finn's right index finger.

"Okay, so now I just, you know…" Finn says, slightly embarrassed.

"Yep, reach down with your right hand and put the tip of your finger in the entrance and then just circle around a few times before taking your finger back out," Dan says.

"Okay," Finn says, but as he reaches his right hand down he almost loses his balance, fortunately Burt and Dan are there to catch him.

"Finn, you okay?" Burt asks he holds on to Finn, making sure he doesn't lose his balance.

"Yeah, I just kind of lost my balance, I guess."

"Why don't you hold onto the bar with your left hand to make sure you don't lose your balance," Dan says.

"Okay," Finn says, as he places his left hand on the bar and then reaches his hand down and inserts his right index finger into his hole.

"All right, Finn, you're doing great, now just circle your finger around a few times," Dan says while Finn does exactly what he tells him to do. "All right, you can go ahead and take your finger out."

"Now what do I do?"Finn asks, as he purposefully doesn't look down at his latex gloved hand because just knowing where his hand just was grosses him out.

"Now you sit and wait," Dan says. "I'm going to check on one last patient, but I'll be back in like 20 minutes to make sure you've started going, if you haven't started going by then I'll have to give you a suppository. Also here's another packet of lubricant, because if you haven't started going in about ten minutes you're going to have to try stimulating yourself again," Dan says as he hands the packet of lubricant to him.

"Okay," Finn says.

"Like I said, I'll be back then in about twenty minutes," Dan says as he heads out the bathroom.

"Thanks," Burt says. "Finn, do you want me to stay in here with you? Or would you rather I wait outside until you need me?"

"You don't need to wait in here with me," Finn says, imagining it would be a little awkward to have Burt just standing there waiting for him to take a crap.

"All right, well if you need anything, yell, 'cause I'll just be right out here in your room, okay?" Burt says.

"Okay."

"Hey, Finn, I know I already told you this, but your Mom and I are really proud of how you're dealing with everything, I noticed a huge difference in your attitude since this afternoon. I know some of this stuff isn't easy to hear, but for the most part you've been handling it really well."

"Thanks," Finn says.

"All right, I'll let you have some privacy, let me know if you need me," Burt says.

"Thanks, Burt," Finn says as Burt walks out the bathroom.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

It's now a little after 8pm and Burt just left to go home for the night a few minutes ago, after Finn had finished his bowel program. Fortunately, everything with that had gone as well as it possibly could, even though the whole routine had taken about an hour. Most of all though, Finn is grateful that he didn't have to use a suppository. Finally, right before Burt had left, he told Finn that while he had been in the bathroom that one of Dr. Siegel's resident's had come in to tell him that they had him scheduled for a MRI at 8am tomorrow morning. Burt had promised Finn mom would be here before his MRI and that he and his mom would both be there afterwards when they would meet with Dr. Siegel to go over the results.

As Finn sits in his bed all alone in his room, he isn't really sure what to do. It's way too early to go to bed, he turns on the TV and flips through the channels but nothing good seems to be on. He knows though if he sits in bed much longer doing nothing, he'll end up crying himself to sleep which is what he's done the past two nights. He knows he could call Quinn, but he knows if he does that they'll have to talk about the kiss and he doesn't really think he's ready to talk about that with her yet. Okay, yeah, he knows he knows he's avoiding talking to her, but he's afraid that maybe Quinn doesn't feel the same way about him as he feels about her and he's not sure if he can handle that right now with everything else that's going on.

He notices his laptop at the end of his bed and decides he might as well get on Facebook and see if any of his friends are online, so he pushes the button on his remote for his nurse and she comes and hands him his laptop. When he signs in to Facebook he's not surprised that his wall is filled with messages from his friends saying that they're thinking of him and praying for him and asking him how he's doing, since he hasn't been online since before his accident. He also notices that Artie's online and he immediately messages him:

**Finn Hudson: Hey**

**Artie Abrams: Hey. What's up? Sry, I couldn't tag along with Quinn & Mercedes to see you this afternoon. If we wouldn't have had practice, I definitely would've come. **

**Finn Hudson: No, it's cool. I'm sure Beiste is working you guys like crazy since the championship's on Friday.**

**Artie Abrams: That's for sure. **

**Finn Hudson: Think you'll be ready?**

**Artie Abrams: I hope so, some of the guys like Karofsky and Azimo aren't really listening to Sam & they keep telling him he doesn't know what he's doing cuz he's not really the quarterback.**

**Finn Hudson: Yeah, well, what else is new? Lol. Karofsky & Azimo never really listened to me either. Tell Sam he just needs to let them know he's not going to put up with any of their crap. **

**Artie Abrams: I will. Anyway, how are you doing?**

**Finn Hudson: Ok, I guess, I started rehab today.**

**Artie Abrams: Yeah, I remember that, it's not fun. The first day or two are the worst though, it gets better from then on though.**

**Finn Hudson: I sure as hell hope so because today pretty much sucked except for when Kurt & Blaine and Quinn & Mercedes came to visit me. My day consisted of getting measured for my wheelchair, learning how to get myself dressed which took like an hour, throwing up all over myself & the bathroom floor, learning how to cath myself, how to change my own diapers and starting my bowel program. **

**Artie Abrams: Like I said the first day or two are the hardest. **

**Finn Hudson: Yeah, ****Mercedes & Quinn coming to visit was a much needed distraction. It was great to see Kurt & Blaine too, but Kurt, he didn't really know how to act around me. I can't remember if he was like that when he was here shortly after my accident, but it's just weird that Blaine, Mercedes, & Quinn all treated me like normal, but my own stepbrother had a hard time even talking to me.**

**Artie Abrams: Maybe the fact that he's your stepbrother is the reason why he had a hard time talking to you. You're his stepbrother, you guys live together & share a room; this going to affect his life almost as much as it's going to affect yours & maybe he just hasn't been able to accept that you're paralyzed yet. **

**Finn Hudson: True, I never thought about that. Hey, have you talked to Quinn since she & Mercedes were here?**

**Artie Abrams: No, why? Everything ok? **

**Finn Hudson: Yeah, never mind, don't worry about it.**

**Artie Abrams: Hey, Finn, I hate to have leave all of a sudden but Brittany just got here so I better go.**

**Finn Hudson: It's fine.**

**Artie Abrams: Seriously though, if you have any questions or anything or just need someone to talk to, feel free to text or call me.**

**Finn Hudson: Thanks. Anyway, I let you go, wouldn't want to keep you from your girl!**

**Artie Abrams: Thanks**

Talking with Artie definitely helped, Finn admits as he gets offline. Not only that, but he's also the only person, other than Sean, that knows what he's going through. As Finn turns off his laptop though, it's not Sean or even Artie that he wants to talk to right now, right now the only person he wants to talk to is Quinn. Before he can talk himself out of it he picks his cell phone up off the nightstand beside his bed and he calls Quinn. She answers on the second ring.

"Hey," Quinn says as she answers her phone.

"Hey it's Finn."

"I know, your name comes up on my phone when you call," Quinn says laughing.

"Oh yeah, I guess it does."

"Is everything okay?" Quinn asks, the concern in her voice obvious.

"Yeah, it's just that visiting hours are over so my mom and Burt went home for the night and there's nothing good on TV…"

"So you needed someone to talk to?" Quinn asks.

"No, not just someone…I just wanted to talk to you."

"Aww Finn, you're so sweet."

"I want to talk to you about that kiss."

"Finn, you don't have to apologize, like I said it was nice."

"Quinn, remember how I told you a few months ago I'll probably always have feelings for you, well I've realized lately that the feelings I have for you were stronger than I thought. And I'm not just saying this 'cause I kissed you this afternoon; I realized how strong my feelings still are for you when we started hanging out again a few weeks."

"Well, I definitely still have feelings for you too. That kiss this afternoon meant a lot to me; it made me realize I still love you…to be honest I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

"So you'd be willing to give us another chance? Even though I'm obviously not the quarterback of the football team anymore and I'm now in a wheelchair?"

"Yes, of course I'd love to give us another chance. And Finn, I never dated you just because you were the quarterback. I mean, if I wasn't a Cheerio anymore, you'd still like me, right?" Quinn asks, knowing that by the end of the week she probably isn't going to be a Cheerio anymore because more than likely she's going to choose Glee Club over the Cheerios.

"Well, yeah, I didn't just date because you're a Cheerio. I mean, yeah, you're hot, but what attracted me to you was the fact that you know who are and you're not afraid to be person that no matter what other people think."

"Exactly, it's not just about popularity; it's about so much more than that, we're meant to be together."

"I agree with you on that; but I just want you to know now that I'm in a wheelchair, things are going to be different; right now I can't even get out of bed into my wheelchair on my own; I'm relearning how to do the most basic things like how to get myself dressed; I'll never be the quarterback again."

"Finn, it doesn't matter to me if you can't get out of bed yourself or you need someone to help you get dressed or whatever else you might need someone to help you with; I don't see you any differently now that you're in a wheelchair; you're still the same Finn Hudson I've always loved."

"Thanks, Quinn," Finn says. "Hey, guess what I just remembered?"

"What?"

"Remember last year when Mr. Schue made us all use wheelchairs in school for a week to raise money for the handicap bus so Artie could ride with the rest of us to regional's?"

"Yeah."

"Remember that day I gave a lift you to rehearsal on my wheelchair?"

"Of course, I do; that was so sweet," Quinn says, smiling. _How could I forget that, that was absolutely adorable!_

"Well, once I get out of the hospital and am back at school, I can give you a lift to rehearsal every day."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Quinn says laughing.

"I know you will," Finn says, laughing. "Hey, well I should probably get to bed because I have to get up early for an MRI tomorrow."

"Okay, I hope everything goes okay; I'll be praying for you."

"Thanks."

"You'll let me know how it goes, right?"

"Of course."

"Okay, good night, Finn."

" 'Night."

After getting off the phone with Quinn, Finn sits his cell phone on his nightstand and picks up his laptop and signs back onto Facebook, where he changes his relationship status to In A Relationship with Quinn Fabray. Even though today for the most part had sucked with starting rehab and learning how to adjust to being paralyzed, it had ended better than he could've ever imagined because he was now back with Quinn!


	9. Tough Break

**A/N: All the misspellings in Finn's text's messages were put there purposely, because I feel like Finn wouldn't be that great at spelling. **

Late the next morning, Wednesday, Finn sits in his wheelchair in his room, his Mom and Burt sitting on either side of him, waiting for Dr. Siegel to come and tell them the results of his MRI. The MRI hadn't been too bad, all he had to do was lie there inside that tube thing; although he'd felt a little claustrophobic at first being in such a tight, enclosed space, once he closed his eyes he was okay.

Now, though as he sits in his wheelchair waiting for Dr. Siegel to come in and go over his MRI with them, he's nervous because he knows the MRI will show them the exact state of his spinal cord. Everything Dr. Siegel had said up until now had been based on the results of his first MRI and the tests they had done on him testing his sensation. From what he understands though, apparently since the first MRI had been done almost immediately after he arrived at the hospital it had been very hard to read because his spinal cord had been so swollen. As he sits there waiting, he looks down at his legs and sees that he's already losing muscle tone. _Great, my legs are going to look so awful...instead of muscles it's like all flabby skin._

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" Carole asks, interrupting Finn's thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, I'm just nervous," Finn says.

"Why are you nervous?" Carole asks.

"Yeah, Finn there's nothing to be nervous about," Burt says trying to reassure him.

"I don't know, like what if it's worse than they thought it was?"

"Finn, don't jump to any conclusions; let's just wait until we hear what Dr. Siegel has to say, okay?" Carole says.

"Okay," Finn says.

A few minutes later Dr. Siegel walks into his room. "Hey, how are you guys doing this morning?" he asks.

"Okay," Finn answers halfheartedly.

"We're doing just fine," Burt says.

"Good, good," Dr. Siegel says. "Are you ready to get started with rehab?"

"I guess, I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Going through rehab will help you gain independence-"

"Can you just tell us the results of my MRI and cut the small talk?" Finn says interrupting.

"Finn," Carole says, not at all pleased with her son's attitude right now.

"Sorry," Finn says.

"No, its okay, Finn's right, I might as well cut to the chase," Dr. Siegel says as he pulls up the pictures from Finn's MRI. "The good news is we got much clearer pictures this time because the swelling around your spinal cord has started to go down. But as you can see from the pictures, your spinal cord is partially severed between the T9/T10 vertebras."

"So what does that mean?" Finn asks.

"It means that at the T9/T10 juncture, there's a slight tear in your spinal cord; fortunately your injury is incomplete which means that your spinal cord isn't completely severed."

"Does this mean I might be able to walk again?" Finn asks.

"It's a possibility, but not definite. I'll be honest with you, if you are able to walk eventually it will probably only be with a walker or with forearm crutches."

"In other words, I'm stuck in this wheelchair for the rest of my life," Finn says, not even trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Finn," Carole says in a warning tone, she really doesn't want to have to deal with another one of his breakdowns.

"No, that's not what I said," Dr. Siegel says. "I didn't say that you definitely won't be able to walk again, I said that there's a slim possibility."

"Isn't that basically saying I probably won't be able to?" Finn asks bitterly.

"No, what I'm saying is that with lots of physical therapy, you might eventually be able to take a few steps or even walk short distances with a walker or crutches, but I can't guarantee it."

Finn sits there fighting back tears. He knows he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, but he had been hoping that the MRI would show that his injury wasn't as bad as they had originally thought; but by looking at the pictures from his MRI and listening to what Dr. Siegel's saying he knows it's just as bad as they thought it was, if not worse.

"So does this mean I'll never be able to feel anything below my waist?"Finn asks nervously.

"Well, like the majority of people with a T9/T10 injury, you can use your arms and hands, but you have limited control of your abdominal muscles, along with having lost bladder and bowel control and the use of your legs and feet."

"What can I do to have the best chance of being able to walk again?"

"One of the best things you can do is to keep a positive attitude," Dr. Siegel says.

"Yeah, that's what one of my friend told me; he's also paralyzed," Finn says.

"Well, your friend is right; you should definitely listen to his advice. Other than having a positive attitude though, you really just have to take things one day at a time; I wish I could tell you more but with spinal cord injuries it's a lot of wait and see," Dr. Siegel says as he looks back over Finn's chart. "Here in a little bit, you'll meet with your occupational and physical therapists and they'll get you started with things. I see here, according to your chart that you started self-catheterizing yourself yesterday; how's that going for you?"

"Uh, okay, I guess," Finn says. "It took me awhile to be able to cath myself, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it."

"Good, if you have any problems with that though, that's something you can work on with your occupational therapist, same goes for your bowel management program."

"Okay," Finn says, not knowing what else to say.

"Do you guys have any questions?" Dr. Siegel asks not just Finn, but Burt and Carole as well.

"How long do you think I'll be here; like when do I get to go home?" Finn asks.

"Right now, I'd say you'll be here for at least four to six weeks," Dr. Siegel says.

"Four to six weeks?" Finn exclaims. "But Regional's are in six weeks; I have to be there!"

"Finn, we'll worry about whether or not you can go to Regional's closer to the time," Carole says, not wanting to upset him.

"But I can't let the Glee Club down; I have to be there, Mom!"

"Finn," Carole says, this time in a tone that he knows means drop it.

"Fine," Finn sighs.

"Anyway, Finn, do you have any other questions for me?" Dr. Siegel asks him.

"No," he answers flatly. _Not any questions I want to ask in front of my parents, at least. I really don't want to ask if I'm able to have sex when my Mom's sitting here right beside me._

"Okay, well in that case, I'll let you rest for a little bit; it shouldn't be too long until either your physical or occupational therapist is ready to start working with you," Dr. Siegel says, as he goes to leave.

"Thank you," Burt says.

"No problem," Dr. Siegel says to Burt and Carole. "Finn, I'll check in with you again tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Finn says. As soon as Dr. Siegel's out of his room, he puts his face in his hands not wanting his Mom to see him crying. _I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry_; yet he's unable to stop a few tears from falling from his eyes.

"Honey, it's okay to be upset," Carole says as she puts her arm around his wheelchair trying to comfort him. "I know, it's frustrating, but you're going to be okay; you're going to eventually be able to do almost everything you could do before your accident, it's just going to take some time."

"Mom, please, just stop; I don't want to talk about it," Finn says as he unlocks the brakes on his wheelchair and wheels himself over to the other side of his small hospital room. "I'm fine," Finn says his voice cracking as he chokes back more tears. "I mean, it's not as if we didn't already know everything Dr. Siegel just said; now we just have the pictures to prove it," he says as a few more tears fall from his eyes.

"Finn, it's okay to cry," Burt says; Finn stops fighting back tears and just lets himself cry.

"It's okay, just let it all out, sweetheart," Carole says walking over to Finn, she puts her arm around him; he leans against her, sobbing.

"Mom," Finn says, not even caring that he's crying like a little kid. "I don't think I can do this. I hate being helpless; it's so embarrassing. I won't be able to walk or play football ever again. I can't get into my wheelchair myself because I can't even lift my butt off the bed; I don't even know when I have to go to the bathroom. I can't do this," he says as the tears continue to fall down his cheeks.

"First of all, you're not helpless, and second, I know you can do this. Finn, you'll learn how to take care of yourself so you can be independent; that's why you're going through rehab," Carole says.

"And Finn, you don't have to do this on your own; we're here for you. Your Mom, Kurt, and I and all friends from Glee Club; we're all here for you," Burt says.

"Thanks, but I still don't know if I can do this; seeing those pictures from the MRI just made it seem so real; it made me realize this is really happening and it's not just some bad dream that I'm going to wake up from some time soon," Finn says, wiping the last few tears from his eyes.

"Unfortunately, sweetheart, you're right; this isn't a dream, but we'll get through this, okay?" Carole says, trying to reassure him that everything's going to be okay.

"Okay," Finn says, although he still isn't real sure how he's going to deal with all of this. He knows he has his family and friends, especially Quinn behind him, but none of them can even begin to relate with what he's dealing with, with the exceptions of Artie and Sean.

"Hey Finn, I need to head back to the tire shop here for a few hours, but I'll be back this afternoon before your mom needs to leave for work," Burt says. "Honey, you need to be to work by 2, right?"

"Yeah, so I'll need to leave here by 1:45 at the latest so that I have time to get there."

"Okay, I'll be sure to be here by 1:30 then" Burt says. "Hey Finn, I'll see you this afternoon then."

"Actually, Burt, before you leave can you help me get back in bed?" Finn asks stopping him before he heads toward the door.

"Uh, sure," Burt says, a little hesitant because he hasn't had to do this yet but he figures he better start getting used to lifting and carrying Finn. Finn wheels himself over to his bed; Burt stands right behind his wheelchair. "How exactly do you want me to do this?"  
"They normally just pick me up and I put my arm around their neck and hold on."

"Okay," Burt says. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, one, two three," Burt says and on three he picks Finn up and sets him down on his bed. "You okay? Are you comfortable?" he asks, helping him get all settled in bed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Thanks."

"No problem, I'll see you this afternoon then," Burt says as he heads towards the door.

"See you," Finn says as Burt walks out of his room.

"Sweetheart, I know this hard, but-" Carole says after Burt's walked out the door.

"Mom, can you just shut up, I already told you I don't want to talk about it," Finn interrupts.

"Okay, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you know I'm here if you want to talk about it," Carole says.

"Yeah, I know," Finn says. He picks up his cell phone and decides to text Quinn, Artie, and Sean and let them know the results of his MRI.

**From: Finn Hudson**

**To: Quinn Fabray, Artie Abrams & Sean Fretthold**

**Just got my MRI results. My injury is a T9/T10 incomplete. I'll never walk again, at best my doctor said I mite be able to stand with a walker or crutches.**

Almost immediately Sean texts him back:

**From: Sean Fretthold **

**To: Finn Hudson**

**I'm sry to hear that man. But I know if anyone can prove the doctor's wrong, it'd be u. Sry I didn't get back to u yesterday about coming to visit. Would this afternoon be good for me to come visit u? If not I'm sure my Mom could take me to come visit u at a better time, just let me know what works for u. **

Finn then responds to Sean's text saying:

**From: Finn Hudson**

**To: Sean Fretthold**

**Thanks 4 all the encouragement :) As 4 visiting, today probably isn't the best day cuz I start physical & ocupational therapy & I'm still learning how to do all the "fun" things like getting my bathroom routines down & stuff. **

**From: Sean Fretthold **

**To: Finn Hudson**

**That's fine, believe me I remember having to do all of that. At least u're able to learn how to do all of that urself; I have to have my Mom or Dad do all of that for me. **

As Finn reads his text he can't help but feel guilty because once again Sean has reminded him that even though his situation sucks it could've been a hell of a lot worse. He realizes that even though it's extremely embarrassing learning how to get himself dressed again or even worse learning how to cath himself and do his bowel routine at least he'll be able to do those things himself; Sean though has to have someone help get him dressed and showered, cath him and help him with his bowel routine, and probably even change his diapers because he is unable to do those things himself.

Only a few minutes later after hearing from Sean, Artie responds to Finn's text:

**From: Artie Abrams**

**To: Finn Hudson**

**Don't give up, if you put your mind to it you can do a lot more than you think you can. Also my injury is fairly similar to yours, mine's a T7/T8, so it's just a little higher up than yours. If you have any questions or anything, feel free to ask me & I'll try answer them.  
**

**From: Finn Hudson **

**To: Artie Abrams**

**Thanks, man for the encouragement. So I'm guessing since our injuries are similar we'll have the same side effects. Anyway, thanks man 4 all ur help so far. **

Finn sits his phone back down on the nightstand beside his bed. He's pretty tired since he had to get up early for his MRI so he decides he might as well take a nap before he starts physical and occupational therapy.

"Mom, I think I might close my eyes for a little; can you make sure I'm up in an hour though if one of the nurses doesn't wake me up 'cause I need to cath then?"

"Sure; I don't think it will be too long though until either your occupational or physical therapist comes. Do you want me to get one of the nurses to help you go ahead and cath now?"

"No, it's fine; I still have an hour till I need to do it again."

"Okay, sweetheart, go ahead and close your eyes then," Carole says as Finn closes his eyes; within minutes he's fast asleep.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

Meanwhile Quinn is at school walking down the hallway to her English class when she receives Finn's text message about his MRI results. As she finishes reading it she isn't sure how she should respond. The fact that he'll probably never walk again is still hard for her to believe and it breaks her heart that he sounds so depressed.

**From: Quinn Fabray**

**To Finn Hudson**

**I'm sorry to hear that, babe. But please don't give up because I know you can do anything you put your mind to! I'll stop by & see you this afternoon then after Glee.**

"Hey, Quinn," Puck says stopping her in the hallway. "You, um, you visited Finn in the hospital yesterday right?"

"Yeah, Mercedes and I went to see him yesterday afternoon after Glee rehearsal."

"Uh, how's he's doing?"

"Why don't you go visit him and ask him yourself?"

"Quinn, you know I have football practice after Glee club every day and with the championship game on Friday there's no way in hell I'll have time to visit him before then."

"Well, some best friend you are," Quinn says sarcastically.

"Don't judge me; for your information Mike, Sam and I went and visited him the other night," Puck says.

"Yeah, Finn told me about that; he told me that you guys didn't even know how to act around him; like for some reason you guys felt you couldn't talk to him the same way you always have."

"You know what, if you're gonna be a bitch about this then fine," Puck says as he starts to walk away.

"Puck, wait," Quinn says stopping him. "Look, sorry, this is hard for me too; it's hard to see him sitting there in bed looking practically completely normal; I kept waiting for him to jump out of bed and say, 'Guys, I'm fine,' but he can't do that; he can't walk," she says as wipes a few stray tears that have fallen from her eyes.

"Yeah, seeing him there like that, hooked up to a bunch of machines and crap; I just couldn't…you know," Puck says, not wanting to admit that he started to tear up the moment he walked into Finn's room; fortunately he had been able to pull himself together before anyone noticed. "I mean, Finn and I are finally cool with each other after, you know after everything last year and then the whole making out with Rachel thing last month, and now this…I just I don't even know what to say to him."

"Puck, I know it's hard, like I said this isn't easy for me either. But your friendship with Finn doesn't have to change just because he's now in a wheelchair; he's still the same person. He's really struggling with this; he just texted me about his MRI results and it looks as if he'll probably never be able to walk again."

"So he's like completely paralyzed forever?"Puck asks.

"Yeah, he might eventually be able to stand with a walker or crutches, but even that sounds like that's a slim possibility at best. Puck, he really needs all the support and encouragement he can get; don't push yourself away from him when he needs us the most."

"I know. Look, tell your boyfriend-"

"Wait, how do you know about that? Finn and I just got back together last night."

"Because I just came from Bio with Mercedes," Puck laughs. "You should know by now that your best friend cannot keep her mouth shut, give it another hour or so and not only will all of Glee Club know, but probably all of McKinley High."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Quinn says laughing.

"Anyway, tell Finn I'll try to stop by after practice today."

"I will."

"Thanks," Puck says as he continues walking down the hallway to his next class.

As Quinn walks into her English class she can't help but think of what these next few weeks, if not months, are going to be like for her and Finn; one thing's for sure, she's going to let him know that she's not going anywhere; that to her he's still the same Finn Hudson she's always loved. She just hopes that his guy friends like Puck and Sam will realize that as well.


	10. Trying to get Used to the New Normal

**A/N: Surprisingly I had to do some research for this chapter due to the fact that there are some obvious differences being a paralyzed female from being a paralyzed male. I'm pretty sure my medical information is accurate but I apologize if it isn't. **

About forty-five minutes later, there's a knock on Finn's door.

"Hello?" Finn says sleepily.

"Come in," Carole says.

A tall man with dark hair in his early thirties walks into Finn's room. "Hi, you must be Finn. I'm Pete, your occupational therapist."

"Hey," Finn says in an obvious uninterested tone; he wishes he could just go back to sleep.

"Hi, I'm Finn's mother, Carole Hummel," Carole says.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hummel," Pete says.

"You can call me, Carole."

"Okay," Pete says. "Anyway, Finn, I was looking through your chart this morning and I saw that it looks like you got a head start on some things yesterday. How are you doing with self-catheterizing yourself?"

"Okay; I mean, sometimes it takes me a little bit to get it in, you know, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it," Finn says.

"That's good; if you want I can give you some tips that might make it a little easier for you."

"Yeah, sure; I have to cath soon anyway."

"And you started your bowel program last night too, right?"

"Yeah."

"And everything went okay with that?"

"Yeah, I don't yeah have that again though till tomorrow," Finn says.

"I know, I just wanted to make sure that everything went okay with that too," Pete says. "Anyway, I was thinking we could work on some basic personal care stuff today; such as showering and getting yourself dressed."

"Okay."

"I'm guessing you probably haven't showered since you've been here, have you?" Pete asks him.

"One of the nurses helped me rinse off in the shower the other day, but other than that no."

"Then why don't we start with that today."

"Sounds good, I'm sure I could use a shower."

"That's for sure," Carole says teasing Finn.

"Thanks, Mom," Finn says sarcastically.

"Anyway, I'll get out of here so you guys can get to work. Do you know how long you'll be?" Carole asks Pete.

"It'll probably take close to an hour."

"Okay, well, I'll see you in a little bit, sweetheart," Carole says as she gets up from her seat and heads towards the door.

"See you, Mom," Finn says as his Mom walks out of his room.

"So are you ready to get started?" Pete asks as he walks over to close the door to Finn's room.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Finn says.

"Do you think it'll be easier for you to get undressed while you're still here on your bed?" Pete asks.

"Yeah, probably, that's the only way I've changed my diaper so far," Finn says.

"Okay, you can go ahead and do that then," Pete says.

Finn then takes off his hospital gown and hands it to Pete. He then grabs a blue pad and some wet wipes from his nightstand table. After he takes off his diaper, he hands it to Pete to throw away.

"You seem to have that down pretty good," Pete says after he throws Finn's diaper away.

"Yeah, I'm getting there," Finn says.

"You need some help getting into your wheelchair?"Pete asks him.

"Uh, yeah, I still can't do my own transfers yet."

"I'm sure it won't be too long before you physical therapist starts teaching you how to transfer yourself."

"I hope so; I'm sick and tired of needing people to help me do everything."

"Well, I'm here to help you learn how to become independent."

"Yeah, I know; it's just frustrating, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I'm sure it is," Pete says. "It's going to take some time, but you will eventually be able to do almost everything you could do before your accident."

"Yeah, my Mom and stepdad keep telling me that too."

"Well, they're right," Pete says, as he takes another blue pad out of Finn's nightstand drawer and sets it on his wheelchair. "Anyway, are you ready for me to put you in your wheelchair?"

"Yeah," Finn says.

"Okay," Pete says as he picks Finn up and sets him in his wheelchair. "You okay?" he asks him.

"Yeah, I'm good," Finn says. "I just need to get a catheter and stuff; it's about time for me to cath," he says as he grabs a catheter, a pair of latex gloves and the box of wet wipes out of his nightstand drawer.

"I'm glad to see that you're already keeping track of when have to cath."

"Yeah, well, I just want to stop having to wear a diaper during the day ASAP," Finn says.

"I don't blame you, but Finn you have no reason to be embarrassed about any of this; loss of bowel and bladder control is unfortunately one of the side effects of a spinal cord injury."

"I know, it's just…I don't know…never mind," Finn says as he starts wheeling himself to the bathroom.

"Finn, look, I hope you know you can talk to me about this stuff. I mean, yeah, as your occupational therapist I'm here to mainly to help you learn how to become independent, but you're welcome to ask me any questions you have or if you just need someone to talk to so you can vent out all your frustrations, I'm here for that too."

"Thanks, but I'm fine," Finn says trying to convince himself as well as Pete that he's fine, as he wheels himself into the bathroom.

After Pete helps him transfer from his wheelchair to the toilet, Finn quickly caths himself and Pete then picks him up and sets him down on the shower chair in the shower.

"Now there are few things that will make showering a little different for you now," Pete says after helping Finn getting situated in the shower.

"You mean other than the fact that I now have to take a shower sitting down?" Finn asks sarcastically.

"Yeah, look, seriously, since you can't feel the lower half of your body you need to check yourself for pressure sores, especially your legs and feet, and the easiest way for you to do that is to check for them while you're in the shower. It's also important for you to realize that you sweat differently now, because of your injury this means from the waist down your body won't sweat. Now this might sound like a good thing because it means your feet won't have that 'stinky feet' smell when you take off your shoes, but it's also somewhat dangerous. This means you have take extra care of the lower half of your body. Along with checking yourself daily for pressure sores, every time you shower you need to make sure you wash yourself thoroughly. The last thing you want is to develop some type of bacterial or fungal infection. "

"Okay," Finn answers sincerely. Although he personally hates that he's going to have to take all of these extra precautions, he also wants Pete to know that he's listening and is taking what he's saying seriously.

"Okay, well, here's soap, shampoo, conditioner, and a washcloth for you," Pete says handing them to him. "You think you'll be able to wash yourself? Does the shower chair give your back enough support?"

"Yeah, since I'm leaning against the back of the shower chair I don't think I'll have to worry about losing my balance," Finn says.

"Okay, well, I'm going to let you wash yourself then, but I'll be right out here if you need anything," Pete says as he closes the shower curtain in an attempt to give Finn some privacy.

"Thanks," Finn says as he turns on the shower. As he sits there on the shower chair going through the motions of washing his hair he realizes how something just as simple as taking a shower is going to be a lot more complicated from now on. _This is what my life has become,_ he thinks to himself. _Never again will I be able stand in the shower and just let the warm water run over me. Instead, from now on I'll have to sit on a shower chair and will only feel the water against my body from the waist up. Damn it, Hudson, stop feeling sorry for yourself! What the hell is your problem? You know it could be worse; it could be so much worse. _He picks up the washcloth and the bar of soap sitting beside him; he realizes what his problem is, that in spite of having the results of his MRI he still has so many questions. Questions like: _What will Quinn think if she finds out I don't even know when I have to go to the bathroom? Can I even have sex? Can I have kids? How am I going to get around once I get home? My room's in the basement. What am I going to do about school, Dr. Siegel said I'm going to be here for at least four to six more weeks; school has never been something I've been good at so how the hell am I supposed to keep up with all of my classes? And what about Glee Club? Regional's is in 6 weeks & I can't miss that! _Once again he realizes that worrying isn't going to help anything, so he finishes rinsing off as quickly as he can. "Hey, uh, Pete, I'm done then," he says as he turns the water off.

"Okay," Pete says as he grabs a towel and then opens the shower curtain. "Do you need me to help you dry off or anything?"

"Uh, yeah, actually I probably do since I can't stand up."

After Pete helps him finish drying off, he picks him up and sets him in his wheelchair. "Are you okay?" he asks him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but, um, can I ask you a question?" Finn asks.

"Sure."

"Can, uh, can I, um, can I still have sex?" Finn asks, slightly embarrassed.

"You probably can, eventually; but it's not exactly going to be like it was before because you won't be able to feel anything physically. And it might not always be able to happen when you want it to happen, if you know what I mean," Pete says, he can tells Finn's embarrassed to be asking him about this, but he also knows it's important to be honest with him.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Finn says unable to hide his disappointment. _In other words, I'll have the exact opposite problem of the one I used to have; instead of getting turned on too easily, my body won't always respond when I'm turned on._

"Look, if you end up having problems with being able to have sex there's always things you can take for that, like Viagra."

"I won't even be 17 for almost two more months, there's no way in hell I'm going to tell my parents that I might need to take Viagra; besides my Mom doesn't even know I lost my virginity…and I'd prefer to keep it that way. Guys my age typically have the opposite problem and get turned on too easily and now you're telling I might not be able to...to perform sexually? Wait a minute," Finn says, interrupting his own thoughts. "When one of the nurse's helped me rinse off in the shower the other day I had a boner…since I couldn't feel it I didn't realize I had one until I looked down and saw it; but that means I can still have sex, right?"

"That's definitely a good sign, but just because you're able to get an erection doesn't mean you'll be able to maintain one for very long; especially since you can't feel it it'll make it harder for you to control. Right now the best thing for you to do is not to jump to conclusions and if in a few months you're still having problems than you might want to talk to Dr. Siegel about it; but just give your body some time to heal for now."

"Okay," Finn says. "Um, thanks, I've had these questions for a few days now, I just didn't really have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff. I mean my stepdad, Burt, is pretty awesome, but I was afraid he'd say something to my Mom about it. You're not going to tell my Mom I'm not a virgin are you?" he suddenly asks nervously.

"No, of course not," Pete says. "Anyway, why do we go ahead back out to your room? I saw a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt lying at the end of your bed; why don't you try getting yourself dressed."

"Um, yeah, I tried that yesterday and it didn't exactly work out really well," Finn says as he pushes himself back out to his room.

"What do you mean by that?" Pete asks as helps Finn get back on his bed.

"It only took like an hour for me to get a damn pair of jeans on," he says as he puts a new diaper on himself.

"Well, the only way it's going to get easier is to keep practicing," Pete says as he hands Finn his "McKinley High Football" t-shirt that's lying at the end of his bed.

"Ugh," Finn says groaning as he sits up and puts on his t-shirt.

"Hey, come on, I know you can do it," Pete says as he hands Finn his gray sweatpants.

"Fine," Finn says as he takes his sweatpants and begins trying to put them.

Twenty-three minutes later, Finn finally has his sweatpants on.

"Awesome job," Pete says. "See I told you that you could it."

"Yeah, it still took almost a half an hour though," Finn says.

"Like I said, the more you practice, the easier it'll be to get yourself dressed."

"Yeah, I know."

"How are you feeling?" Pete asks Finn.

"As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm completely exhausted," Finn admits.

"That's not ridiculous; you cathed yourself, took a shower, and got yourself dressed. You should be proud of yourself; you accomplished a heck of a lot for just your first day," Pete says.

"Thanks," Finn says.

"Why don't we go ahead and stop today for today, besides your mom should be back before too long anyway," Pete says.

"Sounds great, I think I need to rest before I start physical therapy anyway," Finn says.

"Good, you need to rest, it'll help with your recovery. Anyway, I'll see you then same time tomorrow morning," Pete says as he heads towards the door.

"Okay," Finn says. "And Pete, thanks for answering my questions and stuff."

"No problem. If you have any other questions or anything, feel free to talk to me," Pete says. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," Finn says as Pete walks out of his room.

GleeGleeGleee

"Hey, Q, what are you still doing in that Cheerios uniform?" Coach Sylvester asks Quinn as she's grabbing her books from her locker at the end of the school day.

"What are you talking about?" Quinn asks her.

"Well, I just assumed that you skipping practice yesterday was your way of saying that you've chosen Glee club over the Cheerios."

"Well, you assumed wrong!" Quinn says defiantly. "The reason I missed practice yesterday was because I was at the hospital visiting Finn."

"Well, how very thoughtful of you," Sue says sarcastically. "Now, listen here, Q; normally if anyone would skip practice just days before a competition I'd kick'em off the squad. But you're lucky I'm in a good mood today and I'm willing to give you another chance."

"Thank you, Coach Sylvester."

"But if you ever miss another practice again, you're off the squad; no excuses!"

"Actually, I can't be at practice again today-"

"I'm going to forget what you just said, because I can't imagine that the captain of the Cheerios would even think of skipping practice two days in a row, especially the week of Regional's," Sue says interrupting Quinn.

"But Coach Sylvester, Finn, my BOYFRIEND, is in the hospital. He's paralyzed, he just found out this morning he'll probably never walkagain, he's-"

"Oh, boo hoo hoo," Sue says sarcastically. "Like I said if you skip another practice, you're off the squad."

"You know what, you just made my decision so much easier. You won't have to kick me off the squad when I don't show up at practice today, because I quit!"

"Fabray, you just made the worst decision in your life," Sue says. "This might even screw up your life even more then getting knocked up last year."

"Really, because I think I just did something I should have done a long time ago," Quinn says as she begins to walk away.

"Hey, Q," Sue says stopping her. "I expect your uniform back on my desk pressed and dry-cleaned first thing tomorrow morning."

"Not a problem," Quinn says as she walks away, feeling a lot better than she had been all day.

GLEEGLEE

"How was physical therapy?" Burt asks as Finn wheels himself back into his hospital room.

"Exhausting," Finn says.

It's now mid-afternoon and Finn's just finished his first session with his physical therapist, Lauren. Although the entire hour was spent evaluating his upper body strength and determining what his injury affected in order to try to determine if he might be able to gain anything else back and to figure out what exercises would be the best for him to do to ensure he doesn't lose of the abilities he still has, he still is completely exhausted.

"Apparently, thanks to football and basketball I already have great upper body strength, but I need to continue lifting weights and stuff since I'll have to pretty much depend on my upper body strength to do everything. I also found out I can only sit up for twenty-seven seconds without any back support because I don't have full use of my abdominal muscles. My therapist, Lauren, though says that over time I'll probably be able to sit up for at least a little longer. Tomorrow she's going to help me learn how to do my own transfers and also wants me to start lifting weights to make sure that my upper body doesn't get out of shape."

"That's good; I know you really wanted to work on being able to get in and out of bed on your own," Burt says, pleased to see that Finn's in much better spirits than when he left to go back to work after their meeting with Dr. Siegel that morning.

"Yeah, it'll be awesome to finally be able to do that myself. Even better though, I won't need someone to help me transfer from my wheelchair to the toilet every time I have to cath."

"Yeah, I'm sure that will definitely allow you to have more privacy."

"I'm definitely looking forward to that; I'm so tired of having to have people help me go to the bathroom," Finn says.

A few minutes of awkward silence fill the room. "Burt, what am I going to do when I get home? I won't even be able to get to my room unless you, Kurt, or my Mom carry me downstairs; I mean I guess I could always get to our room through the garage, but…"he says, trying not to sound as worried as he actually is.

"Finn, you don't need to worry about any of that right now. Your mom and I have talked about that and Dr. Siegel's suggested that we talk to one of the hospital's social worker's to discuss how to make our house more accessible for you. As you know, your mom and I also were already talking about moving, that way you and Kurt can each have your own room; that's still a possibility too, it'd just have to be a house that's only one floor. Like I said, you let your mom and I worry about that stuff, you just focus on getting better."

"Okay," Finn says. " I think I'm going to close my eyes; all that stuff I had to do for my PT evaluation wore me out, can you help me get back on my bed?"

"Sure, he says as he then picks Finn up and helps him get into his bed. "Your mom should be here in a few hours, so we might both be here when you wake up," Burt says.

"Sounds good," Finn says as he closes his eyes and within minutes he's fast asleep.

GLEEGLEE

Twenty minutes later though there's a knock at Finn's door. "Hello," he says, sleepily as he tries to force himself awake.

"Come on in," Burt says as Quinn walks into the room.

"Uh, hey, Quinn," Finn says surprised to her. It's not that he isn't happy to see her, because he definitely is , it's just that he hadn't expected her to come visit him today.

"Hey, babe," Quinn says as she walks over to Finn's bed. "What's wrong?" she asks him, noticing the nervous/stressed look on his face.

"Nothing's wrong, I just am surprised to see you."

"Didn't you get my text?" she asks. "I texted you a couple hours ago and told you I was going to stop by after practice."

"Sorry, I haven't checked my phone since before lunch because I was so exhausted after occupational therapy this morning and I just got back from physical therapy," Finn says as he pushes the button on his remote to sit his bed up and then grabs his cell phone off the nightstand. Sure, enough he has a new text message:

**From: Quinn Frabray**

**To: Finn Hudson**

**Time: 1:12pm **

**I'm sorry to hear that, babe. But please don't give up because I know you can do anything you put your mind to! I'll stop by & see you this afternoon then after Glee.**

"Yep, I got it," he says as he sets his phone back down on his nightstand.

"Sorry, about that; I just assumed since I didn't' hear back from you that it was okay for me to stop by, but if now isn't a good time I can come back later," Quinn says.

"No, you don't need to leave, I'm done with both OT and PT for the day," Finn says quickly. "Besides, I missed you," he says as he goes to kiss her but he then realizes that Burt's still in the room and stops himself from kissing her. "Ahem," he says clearing his throat, hoping Burt that will realize he wants to spend time with Quinn alone.

"Okay, son, I get it," Burt says laughing. "I'll let you and Quinn spend some time together alone…but the door stays open," he says as in a joking but also half-serious tone as he gets up from his chair.

"Burt," Finn says unable to stop himself from blushing, "I'm in the hospital, you definitely don't have to worry about us trying to do anything here."

"Yeah, Mr. Hummel, don't worry, you can trust us," Quinn says.

"I know I can," Burt says. "Anyway, I'll be back in like twenty minutes, is that okay with you guys?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Finn says.

"Okay, well, I'll see you guys then," Burt says.

"Bye," Finn says as Burt walks out of the room. "Sorry about that," he says to Quinn.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I don't know," he says, unable to help himself from smiling. "But, now that Burt's gone, I can do this," he says as pulls Quinn down to his level so he can kiss her.

"I guess I'll have to get used to bending down so you can kiss me; that'll definitely take me some time to get used to since I'm used to having to practically having to stand on my tiptoes just so I can kiss you," Quinn says laughing.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Finn says trying to force himself to laugh and make light of the situation.

"Are you okay? You're acting like your nervous about something; or are you just embarrassed that you tried to kiss me in front of Burt ?"

"No, no, that's not it all; I just wanted to be able to spend a few minutes alone, just the two of us. Anyway, I'm fine, just a little tired …because somebody interrupted my nap," he says teasing Quinn.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that."

"Its fine, seeing you is definitely worth having my nap interrupted," he says, as he takes Quinn's hand and motions her to sit down beside him on the bed. "I know it probably sounds ridiculous, since we just saw each other yesterday; hell, we haven't even been back together for a whole day yet, but I missed you today," he says as he kisses her gently on the lips.

"Guess what?" Quinn says.

"What?"

"I missed you, too," she says, kissing him back. This kiss is different though from the rest, the first had been gentle and sweet; this one though is full of passion and before she realizes it her tongue is inside Finn's mouth. _Fireworks! _Quinn thinks to herself, as crazy as it sounds she honestly sees fireworks; she's so happy she feels as if she might explode with glee. _I forgot how amazing this is. _

Suddenly there's a knock on the open door of Finn's room and his nurse for the day, Sarah walks into his room.

"Hey, Finn," Sarah says. Although Quinn quickly gets up off Finn's bed, their embarrassed faces say it all and she realizes she's interrupted a somewhat private moment between the couple.

"Uh, hey, Sarah, Finn says. _Great so not only does my nurse walk in on me making out with my girlfriend, but she came in here to help me because it's time for me to cath again . _"Sarah, this is my girlfriend, Quinn. Quinn, this is my nurse for today, Sarah," he says, praying that Sarah doesn't embarrass him in front of Quinn by saying that it's time for him to cath.

"Hi, nice to meet you, Quinn," Sarah says. "Uh, Finn…" she says not wanting to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend, but also wanting to make sure he knew why she's here.

"Yeah, I know," Finn says stopping Sarah from saying anything else. "Uh, um, Quinn, Sarah's gotta help me do something quick, do you mind leaving the room for a few minutes. I promise this won't take long."

"Uh, sure, no problem," Quinn says, still slightly embarrassed that Finn's nurse walked on them making out. "I'll just wait out in the hallway then until your done," she says as she gets up and walks out of Finn's room.

As Finn's takes off his diaper and gathers his supplies together so he can go cath, he can't help but think: _Can this get any more awkward? What am I supposed to say to Quinn when she walks back in here? I'm sure she probably at least has an idea about what Sarah's helping me do. I know I should probably tell her; I mean she's my girlfriend; she deserves to this know; she's probably going to have to know eventually. But what am I supposed to say to her? Like, "Oh, yeah, not only can I not walk, but I don't know when I have to take a piss so I have to catheterize myself"? Or, "Oh yeah, my junk doesn't really work , so we might not be able to ever have sex," ? I know it's only fair for her to know this stuff, but I don't know if I can tell her this, at least not yet._

**A/N: Okay, so I know this is sort of an abrupt way to end a chapter & that it's kind of a cliff-hanger, but I promise the next chapter will pick up right where I left off. I ended the chapter here for a couple of reasons: The first is that this is by far the longest chapter I've ever written! The other reason is that I haven't made up my mind yet if I feel is Finn is ready to have such a serious discussion with Quinn. Yeah, they have a history together but they've only been back together for a day & I can't see Finn tell her such personal information yet. Anyway, I would love to hear from you guys as to how you think Quinn should find out about these types of side effects Finn has to deal with now, so PM with your ideas. Also I've almost finished writing the next chapter of my other fanfic, No Matter What and hope to have the last two chapters or so completely written in the next few weeks. **


	11. I'm Still Me

**A/N: Once again this is way, way overdue, but this semester was insanely busy for me. Anyway, I hope this was worth the wait! **

Several minutes later, Quinn sees Finn's nurse, Sarah, walk out of his room, so she figures it's safe for her to go back in. "Hey, is everything okay?" she says as she walks in and goes to sit down in the chair right beside his bed.

"Uh, yeah, she just, uh, yeah" Finn says blushing slightly. _There's no way I'm going to tell what Sarah was helping me cath and change my diaper. _

Quinn notices he seems a little embarrassed and uncomfortable and figures it's best to drop the subject. She knows there are effects of his injury that he's still not ready to talk about and she realizes its better not to push him, but to just let him tell her on his own time. "Hey, you look great today, by the way. I'm sure wearing regular clothes instead of that hospital gown is a lot more comfortable too."

"Yeah, that's for sure. My OT, Pete, helped me shower and get dressed; that definitely made me feel better. Hey, wait a minute," Finn says, noticing she's wearing a cute blue and yellow dress instead of her Cheerios uniform. "How come you're not wearing your Cheerios uniform?"

"Yeah, uh, about that; I kind of quit today" she says quietly.

"Wait, what? You quit the Cheerios? I thought you loved being a Cheerio. I mean, you're finally Head Cheerio again, so why the hell would quit when you're finally getting everything back? "

"Because Coach Sylvester told me if I missed practice today she'd kick me off the squad since I skipped yesterday's practice. Being here with you is more important to me than being on the Cheerios, so I quit before she could kick me off the squad."

"You quit the Cheerios because of me?" he asks, feeling slightly guilty for being the reason why Quinn gave up something she loves.

"Yeah," she says softly.

"But, Quinn-"

"Finn, it's okay. I was already pretty set on quitting on Friday since Coach Sylvester gave us an ultimatum-"

"Huh?" Finn says interrupting Quinn because he had no idea what the heck she just said.

"She told us we had to choose between the Cheerios and Glee Club once and for all since we're performing during halftime for the championship game Friday night, which happens to be at the exact same time as the Cheerio competition," Quinn says smiling and trying not to laugh at him. _Well, he's still as clueless as ever when it come to understanding big words; he really is still the same Finn Christopher Hudson I've known since freshman year. _

"Oh, yeah, that's right," he says. "Sorry, I kind of forgot about that."

"That's understandable, you've only had a few other things to worry about and deal with the last few days," she says laughing and trying to make light of the situation.

"True," he says laughing. "What about Brittany and Santana though? Are they quitting the Cheerios too?"

"I don't know, but I honestly don't even really care. I've made my decision and I don't regret it for even a second," she says.

At that moment, Finn realizes just how much Quinn really cares about him; it shows him that he's more important to her than anything, including the Cheerios and even her popularity.

"Thank you," he says, as he pulls her closer to him and kisses her.

GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE

A few hours later, with only an hour until visiting hours end, Puck stands outside Finn's hospital room trying to prepare himself for what he's about to see. He knows he has to be stronger then he was when he came the other night with Sam and Mike. Not only had that been awkward for him and the guys, but he knew it had been awkward for Finn too. _You can do this, _Puck thinks to himself "Hey, man, what's up?" he says as he walks in the door. He sees Finn sitting up in his bed; he's no longer hooked up to a bunch of scary-looking machines, but he still can't help but notice how lifeless his legs look as they lie perfectly still underneath his blankets.

"Well, you know, for the last two days, my nurses, and now my physical and occupational therapists are keeping me busy trying to teach my how to care of myself; not exactly fun stuff that's for sure," Finn says laughing, trying to make light of the situation because he can tell that Puck is uncomfortable. He motions for Puck to sit in the chair beside his bed, Puck though remains standing. "So how's Sam been doing taking over as quarterback this week? Think you guys will be ready for the championship game on Friday?"

"Uh, I hope so; Sam's doing the best he can," Puck says as he continues to stand there awkwardly.

"Dude, my eyes are up here, so why the hell do you keep staring at the floor?" Finn asks, realizing that Puck seems to be struggling to even look at him while he's talking and instead seems to be going back and forth between staring at the floor and the wall.

"What are you talking about?" Puck asks a little too defensively.

"It's like you can't even look at me" he says. "You did the exact same thing when you were here the other night with Sam and Mike. I mean, I know I probably looked like crap then and was hooked up to a bunch of machines, not to mention I was kinda out of it, but I look almost normal now."

"Finn, look, I'm sorry, I'm trying, I'm really trying-"

"You're trying? What do you mean you're trying?" Finn says, no longer able to hide the disappointment and bitterness in his voice. "You think this is hard for you; oh yeah, I'm sure it's real hard to stand here and try to have a normal conversation with me. I don't get to 'try', I don't have a choice; I have to deal with this every single day for the rest my life!"

"I know , it's just with all of the shit I put you through this last year or so, with getting Quinn pregnant, making out with Rachel last month, and now this-"

"Puck, you had absolutely nothing to do with this; the reason I'm paralyzed is because some middle-aged man was driving drunk and his car hit mine head on."

"I know, it's just; it's just not fair," Puck says, as he tries to keep himself from crying, but a few stray tears fall from his eyes. "It doesn't make sense; you don't deserve this, man. I mean, this is something that should've happened to me; I'm the screw up. But you, you don't deserve this; you're the good guy."

"Puck, don't say that; I would never wish this on anyone; especially someone I consider to be my best friend. But you are right about one thing, it isn't fair and it really, really sucks. And to be honest I'm struggling to accept this new reality. I know my life now depends on things like wheelchairs, anti-spasticity medicine, and catheters. I know this, but it's still so hard because I'm still me," Finn says, his voice cracking as he finally gives in and allows himself to cry. "I'm still the same the person I was before my world was turned upside down, but no one seems to see that, except my parents, Quinn and Mercedes. Well, and of course Artie and Sean. But don't you see that too, Puck? I'm still me! I still dream of being the quarterback for Ohio State, even though I know it's impossible. Every time I can't do something or need help with something I remember that that's never gonna happen. Like this morning my occupational therapist had to help me take a shower and get myself dressed because I can't even lift my ass off this bed. But I'm still the same guy you've known since preschool."

"Yeah, I know, man," Puck says, pulling himself together as goes to sit down in the chair beside Finn's bed.

"You do?" Finn asks. "You really believe that I'm still me?"

"Yeah, I do" Puck says as he makes sure to look right at Finn as he says this since that was what had brought the issue in the first place.

"Okay, good because in the back of mind I know it's true, and my Mom and Burt keep telling me that too, but when my own stepbrother and my best friend can't even look at me and struggle to have even a basic conversation with me; well, it's kind of hard at times to believe I am still me since so much has changed in the last several days."

"Look, I'm sorry about the other night, obviously I was the worst out of Sam, Mike, and I. I'm guessing that's because I've known you the longest. I know though, as hard as it is for me to see you here like this, to accept that you're paralyzed, that it's a whole hell of a lot harder for you. I should've come back here sooner or at least texted you or something. From this point on, though, I'm here for you; whenever you need me, I'm here. And I'll be sure to visit you as often as I can; I'll try to see if I can get Mike and Sam to come with me here in the next day or two."

"Thanks, man" Finn says.

"Anyway," Puck says changing the subject because it's obvious they're both a little embarrassed about letting their emotions get the best of them. "You think you can give me some to tips on how to help Sam improve his throws before the championship game on Friday."

"Yeah, I sure," Finn says laughing. They then spend the rest of the time laughing and talking about football and Glee club until Puck's kicked out by Finn's nurse because visiting hours are over. As Puck walks out of Finn's room, he realizes that Finn's right, _He really is the same Finn Hudson, I've known forever. _

**A/N I hope you that it was worth the wait and I will update again as soon as I can. **


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